MELANCHOLY [S.T. B. Hargrove]

49

Steve, Robin, Max, and Dustin went to the store to get supplies. I stayed back at Rick's to make sure Eddie was safe and things were calm.

I could also tell by the way Steve suggested for me to stay back that he wanted me to take a breather and stay calm.

"Is this why you wanted drugs all the time?" Eddie asks softly, staring at the wall.

I clap my hands together as I pace back and forth slowly. "For the most part, yeah."

"How'd you get dropped into it? Was it like.. you had your own Chrissy?"

I take a deep breath. I should've went to the store.

"No, Dustin was alone and needed help. I was worried and just got in the middle of it a couple of years ago."

I take Billy's keys out of my pocket and nervously fiddle with them. The feeling of the keys in my hand calms me down a little.

I close my eyes and try to picture Billy's face.

"Are you all right?" Eddie asks.

I look over at him. "Yeah.. why?"

"You're.." he motions to his face.

I wipe my fingers over my face and pull away tears. When had I started crying?

"Did something happen when you found out about all of this?" Eddie wonders.

I hand;t talked about Billy to a lot of people.

"My uh.." I pause. "My person.. My.. My Billy."

Eddie frowns, remembering the name from the past year of sympathy.

"Hargrove.. I thought that was because of the mall fire?" he recalls.

"Yeah, that's what we told people," I sigh. "It was.. worse."

"It was like Chrissy?"

"There was this.. thing.. before. We called it the Mind Flayer because it would infect people and-"

"Wanted to make everyone be like it because he thought he was superior," Eddie finishes.

I go to ask how he knew, but remember that the boys always named the Upside Down monsters after their game.

"D and D," I note.

"So.. the Mind Flayer attacked?" Eddie asks.

"The Mind Flayer attached to Billy. Made him do things. And then when Billy got enough hold on himself.. he tried fighting the monster with his bare hands. We lost him."

"I'm really sorry, Racquel," he whispers.

The pain grows stronger again.

I curse myself for getting caught up in other things and trying to ignore the pain. It was demanding for the attention in full again.

My head spins and I flinch. I rub my temple gently.

"Racquel?" Eddie asks, standing up.

"I'm all right," I assure.

"No, no.." he steps closer. "Your nose."

I wipe my thumb under my nose and look down to the blood that stains my fingertip.

"Shit," I curse.

"Do you need.." Eddie looks around the room.

I pull my sleeve over my hand and wipe the blood away.

"Did you.. take something?" he asks.

"No, I just.." I sigh and hold my head back. "Stress. It's been a while. I thought all of this ended after.."