No Winter Lasts Forever

Chapter Nineteen

James growled to himself as he stared at the door of Shuri's lab. This would be his last session and even the thought of going into the room made him want to vomit.

The pain during the last session was almost unbearable. He blacked out once, but Shuri waited for him to wake. He needed to be awake so she could see what his brain waves were doing.

He sighed and ran both hands over his face and groaned, feeling anxiety rolling up his spine. James had made Willow stay in their little apartment. He didn't want her to see him like this. See a part of the soldier fight for its life.

Shuri stood at her computer, plugging away at things as she got everything ready for James. She looked up as the door opened, watching him begrudgingly walk into the room. "Hello, James."

James grumbled as he stood away from the exam table. He hated that infernal thing. "Shuri."

"I understand the apprehension," she said, "How are you feeling today?"

"I'm okay," he answered, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. "Anxious."

She nodded. "I understand. This is our last time, James. You're so close."

"I know... I know." He walked over to the table and tentatively sat on the edge. "I just know this is going to be a bitch."

Shuri tried to smile. "I won't say it will be easy. But we can take a short break if we need to."

James shook his head and steeled himself. "Let's get it over with."

"Get yourself comfortable, and we can start when you're ready."

He nodded and scooted back on the table before lying back and staring at the ceiling. He felt as Shuri placed the electrodes on his skin, avoiding his metal arm.

Once he was hooked up, she walked back to her computer screens. "Are you ready?"

Bucky opened his mouth and placed the mouth guard between his teeth, seeing a flashback of being tied down to a chair with an apparatus over his head. Tears ran down his cheeks as he nodded. He needed to do this.

Shuri started the program, keeping her eyes on the monitor as well as James. She let it run for a few moments, watching his brain activity closely.

Screwing his eyes shut, James bit down on the guard with a growl. Things had barely begun but his heart was racing.

"Remember to breathe, James."

James whined as he gripped onto the table, feeling part of it buckle under his strength. Shuri had let him keep his other arm this time, trusting him.

Shuri walked around the console, standing near him but out of direct reach. She steadied herself, taking a deep breath before uttering the words. "Freight car."

A loud roar left James' throat as his back arched from the table. Sweat beaded on his brow as he panted, trying to get air into his lungs. With only one word tied to his brain, it was trying to push the soldier into every cell of his being.

"You can do this, James," she encouraged.

James whimpered, feeling as if Shuri was literally digging into his brain to find where the word connected. He could feel his stomach knot and clench, suddenly glad that he skipped breakfast.

She checked her monitors to make sure everything was still safe. "Freight car," she repeated.

Crying out, James gripped hard onto the table crushing one side with his strength. Please be over soon...

"We're close, James," she tried to assure him. "Freight car," she said once more.

Tears continued to stream down James' face as he finally began to feel some sense of relief. He groaned, knowing that as soon as he sat up, Shuri better have a bucket prepared for him.