MADMAN'S HAVEN

27

I arrived at work just at the right minute, and I rushed past the entrance to get to my floor as quickly as possible.

There was no sign of Donald by the entrance, and my chest started to work faster inside as I got anxious about his absence. I didn't want to see him, but the fact that he wasn't there meant that he could be sneaking around somewhere else inside the hospital.

The last thing I wanted was to get surprised by his appearance in some of the dark hallways. I needed to keep my eyes open, stay alert, and be prepared for his confrontation. I was not afraid of him as long as we were inside the institutional walls.

Donald would never risk his job by acting out in a strange way, not when there was a chance for someone to witness, it was his way of playing. I knew his whole persona was a false facade, and his uniform only brought him deeper into his acting role. The hospital was his stage, and as long as the curtain was raised, he would continue his magnific acting with all his heart.

After my first meeting with Grace, I was now on my way to meet with Jacob Clarke for my second session of the day. I was already longing to meet with the third patient.

With the notice of my strong desire, I realized that there was no sign of regret inside of me regarding my forced re-assignment with Brandon. Somehow I was thankful for his eager command because if he didn't force me back into his care, I would probably still be deep down inside the depressive misery and abusing the heavy drugs to get myself fulfilled somehow.

The thoughts about Brandon made the flutter inside of me tingle with limerence. It was like all dreadful memories from our intensive previous months together were all gone. This was my chance of starting over.

After a peaceful and simple hour inside Jakob's room, I allowed myself a five-minute break of burning out a cigarette before I began my walk towards the pharmacy to pick up Brandon's daily medication.

I greeted Nancy for her service as I grabbed the cup of pills from her pale, freckled hand. The way the anodyne pills affected my senses forced me to swallow hard, but since I was so close to another, so much better rush, I didn't pay any more thoughts to the strong medication.

With calm, pleased steps, I walked my way from the pharmacy area to begin the way over to ward 5. The loneliness embraced me and allowed me into the world of imaginations. I wondered what we would speak about at this meeting. What would I get to learn about him today? How would he approach me? In what way would he choose to touch me this time?

I couldn't get enough of the constant curiosity. Every single time I met with him he made me feel something new. Emotions I didn't even know existed. He made me learn more things about my own self, he brought me closer to myself, allowed me to get to know my whole body and mind better.

My hands started to dampen from the physical reaction of my prospects, and I had to force myself back into the presence to save my arousal and instead hand it over to the one who took care of it in the best possible way.

As I passed the last intersection in the hallway, my lungs suddenly lost every ability of breathing as I felt something cold grabbing my arm. Without any time to realise what happened, I got violently dragged into one of the small stockpiles and pushed against a hard wall. The rough hand was now placed over my mouth which made it even more hard for my lungs to cooperate with my airways. My eyes were widely spread by the emergent fear, and as soon as the light switched on inside the tiny dark dump, I met with the most furious black pair of eyes.

This was exactly why I told myself to stay extra alert and perceptive, but I never actually thought anything this dramatic would happen as long as I kept myself inside the hospital building.

"Why didn't you open up for me this morning, Beverly?" He strained his eyes as he spoke. He knew I wasn't capable of answering due to his suppressing hand.

I tried to keep calm and not show any sign of fright. Even if he had physical power over me, I refused to let him believe that he could conquer me mentally as well.

"You see, I only came to visit because I wanted to talk to you. There is no reason for you to avoid me, Beverly. I made a mistake. All men make mistakes, you know that," His voice was kind and deliberated, but I could read in his every feature that there was no emotion inside this heartless man.

"If you forgive me, I promise never to hurt you again. You know I was drunk, and you were honestly acting kind of haughtily. I had to do it to get back any sense in you,"

My stomach twisted as I listened to his try of manipulation. It was all lies coming out of his mouth. Of course he would do it again. I could calculate between his convincing words that he was trying to justify his action by blaming me. He wanted me to believe it was my fault because of my behavior of stepping over a man like that.

Slowly he removed his hand from my mouth, ready to hear my answer to his speech of forgiveness. He already believed that I wouldn't dare to scream since he dominated me. All I could do to get out of this complete, was to handle it in a mature, sentimental way. I was still calm, even though my inside tortured me with nervousness and dread.

"I forgive you, Donald," I chose my words carefully, decided to play along.

"I'm sorry I overreacted. I knew I was acting childish that night, you were right,"

I watched how his posture raised from his please. Little did he know I was the one succeeding with my words. He was a smart man filled with danger, but not smart enough to realise that I was playing back with him.

"Good girl," He said, and carefully placed his hand to stroke over my still purple cheekbone.

I wanted to throw up from the disgust. He should let me go now after his threatening try of getting what he wanted. But he didn't. Instead, he began to move his hand further down my shoulders and waist as he slowly moved his head closer to mine.

My heart suddenly smashed my chest like a hammer when the anxiety hit me with the realisation. He thought this was our moment to make up.