MADMAN'S HAVEN

38

"I'll call for the guard," The assurance in Brandon's voice made me nervous. I knew he meant what he said, so I only had seconds to figure out what to say to make him change his mind and give me another chance.

"Wait," I said desperately.

Brandon rolled his eyes and sighed visibly. Thankfully he was patient with me, not shouting for Frank right away. Also he knew it wasn't a good idea to let him step inside witnessing this bloody scene, we needed to handle this in a good way, pretend it was an accident of some sort.

"It's my job to be here, Brandon. I'm not leaving just because you tell me to. You can cut me off emotionally, but I will still be your treater," I crossed my arms, used my position of power. He couldn't just beg me to come back and then force me away this easy again. It was not his decision to make just like that.

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration before he carefully placed his hands on my cheeks.

"Don't you get it? Of course I don't want you to leave. I want you here all the time and you sure as hell know by now how much I need you. But what you deserve, Beverly, is a life without misery, without drugs and traumatic occasions, without a forbidden love affair. You deserve to have a happy family with wanted children one day, and I could never give you that," His convincing words still didn't make me persuaded, but it did make me sad to hear the truth coming out of him that way.

"I never really thought about it, but after what you put yourself through, I can't allow you getting more hurt because of me," He finished.

No matter how I turned and wrested every imagination of a life with Brandon, it finally came to my understanding that it could never work out between us. He would be locked in here for the rest of his life, and our relationship would always have to be kept hidden, otherwise, I would get fired right away and never get to see him again.

To admit that he was right was painful, and I refused to agree with him out loud. I wanted to be with him for as long as I possibly could. I already tried to be without him, and it was worth nothing but terror and destruction.

I grabbed Brandon's hands and pulled them away from my face to hold them tightly instead.

"You are so blinded. I'm no better than you are don't you see it? I'm high at work, lying to my chief all the time. I'm having a relationship with one of my patients. Do you understand how serious that is? I'm as much of a criminal as you are. Also, I took a life too, which makes me a murderer as well. So, you call for the guard, but I will not leave your treatment until you reach out for Ms. Schwartz yourself to tell her you don't want me here,"

For once I felt surprisingly proud of myself and the way I managed to stay this determined. I knew I had to use every bit of power to talk myself out of this and convince Brandon that leaving him was not the best option for either of us. We already agreed that we needed each other so many times by now. This was just an impulse coming from him because it was hard for him to handle all the previous information.

Brandon looked at me with narrowed eyes and I could tell that he was trying to figure out what to say. He bit his lip as his one eye twitched a little, and I noticed that he was trying to hide a grin slowly trying to shape his face.

I took time to inspect him, I wanted him to let go of the severity and expose the true emotions he was trying not to show me. Then he slightly opened his mouth and allowed a tiny dimple to come through in his right cheek.

"You drive me crazy," He said, still looking deep into my soul.

My insides exploded. He was so attractive when he spoke to me that way. Being so mysterious in his words while his eyes told me everything about what he wanted to do with me.

I pulled him closer to me, and just before our heads touched, I started smiling in excitement.

"You're already crazy," I whispered in naughtiness.

Then, within just a blink, my left hand got released from Brandon's careful hold, and roughly he grabbed me by the hair in my neck, and pulled my head to meet him in a ferocious kiss. I grunted by the dispersive pain caused by his grip, and enjoyed every shiver that spread down my spine.

"Watch your mouth, Nurse Frazier," Brandon mumbled against my lip before grabbing it carefully between his teeth. He was playing along. I knew he would like this moment to turn into less austerity and more excitement, and I decided to bring him that.

Even if I knew this couldn't turn into what we both wanted, I allowed the tease to continue. He caressed every part of me while keeping his lips attached to mine, forcing sounds of pleasure to leave my body and affirm to him that his every touch was glorious.

"Brandon, before this gets too far, we need to stop," I hated myself as much as the words coming from my mouth. No matter how much I wanted him, I still needed time to heal.

Brandon placed his hand on my cheek and stopped the act with his forehead leaned against mine. He was breath taken, turned on by the heated moment.

"I know, I just had to feel you," He spoke between his heavy breathing.

"I wanted more," I replied.

"You have no idea what I'll do to you as soon as you're mend," His raspy voice made me freeze. I wanted him, so much, and he didn't make it much easier by speaking to me like that.

Filled with excitement and longing, I smiled at him and placed another kiss on his warm lips.

"I can't wait to find out,"