MADMAN'S HAVEN

3

The thoughts were running around in my head with nervousness in a disturbing way.

I just wanted Harriet to speak out since she claimed that it was so important for me to know this information about the monster I begged her just a few seconds ago not to talk about.

I looked at her with big curious eyes where she sat in front of me on the other side of the office table.

"You see, there was a big mistake being made with the transfer of Joseph Acker. There was a huge miss in communication and there was information that wasn't mentioned in the paperwork that we got from the accountable officers that transferred him here,"

Harriet got quiet again and I could see through the skin on her neck that she swallowed hard.

Since I was still at the beginning of my profession, I was not very familiar with how transfers of inmates worked and how the information was handled between the parts.

"So when Acker arrived here, there were several details about him that got left out,"

I began to feel a bit frustrated. What did this have to do with Brandon? And how would this information help me with moving on from him?

"I understand. But may I ask why you wanted to tell me about this?" I didn't want to sound rude but I really wanted her to get to the point.

She looked a little bit ashamed and filled with regret, but she decided to continue with her talking.

"Beverly. What I'm trying to say is that it was a connection between Acker and Barlowe. I don't know how much he's told you about his past, but the reason Brandon got so furiously murderous that day, was because Joseph Acker was the one who killed his family... And if we would have been aware of this, Joseph wouldn't have been transferred to this institution in the first place,"

My heart race got replaced with complete stillness as I realized what Harriet just told me. My eyes widened to their limit and I lost my ability of breathing.

It couldn't be true. Yet everything fell into place and made so much sense.

How did I not figure this out myself after what Brandon told me? How did I not realize that the new inmate Joseph Acker whom Harriet told me about, was the same person who murdered my patient's whole family? How could I be so stupid, even after watching the reaction on Brandon's face as he laid his eyes on Acker and brutally attacked him without even blinking?

I didn't understand how the pieces weren't already in their proper place after everything I had witnessed and after every clue that I got during my time together with Brandon. Was I really that far behind with realization?

The burning feeling in my tear canals made my eyes tear up with salty fluid, but I couldn't care since my brain was working so extremely hard with progressing the information I just got.

I felt how my lips got dry as I heavily breathed out from my open mouth.

Every organ inside of me begged me to scream out to relieve from the pain, but I was paralyzed. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk and the last thing I could do was scream.

Trapped inside my chaotic, hard-working head, I could hear a voice from a distance trying to reach me. I saw Harriet through my blurry vision as she moved in front of me in an attempt to catch my attention.

"Beverly, I know it's a lot to take in. But you deserved to know this. You need to understand that you were doing a very good job with treating Brandon, and that no one could've kept him from doing this. None of it is your fault, and even if Brandon is a monstrous and psychotic murderer, this was not something he did just to someone innocent out of impulse or sudden urge of killing. No matter how healthy or propitious Brandon would get by time, he would still do this to Acker after what he did to him, do you understand what I'm saying?"

Harriet's words penetrated my ears and went through my body like a torturous strike. I wasn't able to answer her, but I heard every tiny word of what she just said.

I didn't know if my body just stopped working out of delight and gratification or out of disillusion and aversion, but the mixture of emotions inside of me had me realize that every feeling was a contributor to why my body was acting the way it was.

My hands were shaking and humid with cold sweat, yet did it feel like the blood was boiling hot inside of me. Everything was so disgustingly uncomfortable. Not ever had I experienced a feeling of confusion and shock in a way like this. It was just too heavily psychical for me to handle.

In a rough move, I forced my body to work with movement and I pushed myself off the chair and ran out of the room trusting my disabled legs and feet.

As I reached the handle of one of the bathrooms just outside the office room, I locked the door behind me with a quick hand before I threw myself over the lavatory to throw up every bit of emotion inside of my body.

I cried out as I let every piece of me land in the toilet.

The gastric acid burned my throat as my muscles forced me to retch and let more vomit chuck out of me. The feeling of letting everything out was relieving, and it felt like there were parts of me leaving my body never to come back again.

It was exhausting, but I needed it so much.

I rubbed my arm over my mouth to dry off the acetic saliva and grunted out of exhaustion before I grabbed my hands on the toilet seat to raise up from the cold tile floor. I flushed away the mixture of emotions and corporal fluid and watched how it turned into clear water again just like it was never there.

I met my reflection in the mirror over the sink. I looked like misery itself. Dark circles under my eyes and flaming red cheeks from the salty tears. My lips were dry from the dehydration and burning acid, and my pupils began to form their proper size, which was a sign that the drugs were slowly leaving my body.

I let my reflection help me with taking a few deep breaths to aggregate some energy.

Where would this take me?

Maybe Harriet was right, maybe I could get over it easier after progressing this information she just gave me.

I didn't know... But I knew that I didn't regret that I allowed Harriet to tell me about this, because it all made so much more sense to me now.