Nameless danger

Chapter 18

Clarke's POV

"I swear if we continue to stay in this house for too long I'll go crazy."

"Clarke, we talked about this. We need to try and avoid public spaces, it's not safe."

"Your house wasn't very safe either." I retorted.

"Safer, still."

I groaned. We had nothing all week but go to school and come back home. Octavia sometimes went to visit Lincoln, but even they stayed at his house. Bellamy was ridiculously worried.

"Come on, at least, let's do something fun in here."

"Like what?"

Good question. We had seen almost every movie in the world, we had eaten enough popcorn to still taste it in our mouths for the rest of our lives. But we couldn't think of anything else to do.

"Sing with me." I blurted out.

"What?"

"Let's have a party. You and me."

"A party with two people isn't a party, princess."

"We don't need other people. We make our own rules, didn't you teach me that?"

He chuckled, "I can't argue with that."

"You agree then, we can have a party?"

"Why the hell not? Let's do it."

I screamed in excitement. Finally, he agreed. I knew he would, of course, but I thought it would take more convincing.

I immediately took my phone and put on a random playlist.The happy beat of the first song came on and I started jumping up and down. I saw that Bellamy wasn't dancing.

We can't have that.

I grabbed his hands and started moving them in all directions.Our dance was clumsy but it was fun.We continued like this for the entire song until the next one came up.

The new song was slow.I didn't know what to do and how to dance to this.Bellamy sensed my hesitation and took the lead.

We were still holding hands and he let go of one of mine and twirled me around and pulled me back in.

Suddenly I realised how close we were.

Bellamy seemed to feel it too because he stopped dancing.
I barely registered the music playing in the background because I was too focused on Bellamy.

That's how I noticed that he was slowly leaning closer. Instinctively I followed his movement and leaned closer as well.Soon our lips touched and before I could process what was happening Bellamy placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me closer.

I pulled away in shock and mumbled about leaving to use the bathroom , I almost ran away because I couldn't make sense of this.

Once I shut the door behind me I wanted to try and think this through but I didn't have the chance to.

My phone beeped and I knew instantly from who it was.

"Keep him away or I won't keep him alive.
-A"

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Later that afternoon after my mom,Bellamy, Octavia and I had dinner I was in my room sitting at my desk trying to do my homework when Bellamy knocked on my door.

"Come in." I said

"Hey,can we talk?"

I nodded.

"About earlier..."

"What about it?"

"Don't pretend it didn't happen, Clarke."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Isn't it? We kissed and you ran away."

He was right, that was exactly what happened. I hadn't meant to ignore him entirely after that, because the truth is that I wanted it.

But I knew better than to ignore A by now. I didn't want to lie to Bellamy, again, but this time A had threatened him directly. It was different.

"Don't lie to me Clarke, I felt something. And I know you felt it too, or else you wouldn't have kissed me back."

Bellamy walked closer to where I was sitting, and kept staring at me waiting for an answer. When he didn't get one, he took it as an agreement and started to lean towards me again.

I knew if I let it happen a second time I'd never be able to stop.

So I stood up from my chair and walked away from him.

"We shouldn't be doing this."

Bellamy stayed right where he was without attempting to come closer.

"Why shouldn't we? If you don't want to, I'll leave you alone. But tell me the truth, please, that's all I ask."

He was giving me the opportunity to come clean, but I couldn't take it. I was hoping to simply avoid mentioning the truth, but now I would have to lie.

Again.

"I got lost in the moment earlier. It doesn't mean I share your feelings."

I hated even saying it, and it hurt him. It was obvious that he was hurt, and that was what hurt me more than anything. I never wanted to hurt Bellamy.

He very obviously struggled to accept it, but still he respected my answer and simply nodded.

He walked away, but at the door before leaving turned to me again and said softly, "I'm sorry for simply assuming that. I hope you know that no matter what you're still my best friend. I'll work through this on my own, it won't change anything, I promise."

"You're always going to be my best friend too." I whispered, but I knew that there was no way Bellamy would still want to be my best friend after finding out that I lied, despite promising that I would never do it again.

He nodded again and left me alone in my room.

I lied to Bellamy again, and that meant I would probably lose him as a best friend. It also meant I lost every chance I ever had in becoming something more with him. For so long I had hoped and dreamed about Bellamy and I, and now I ruined it.

It was all A's fault. It was their fault that I was now left in my room alone, after breaking Bellamy's heart, with my eyes welled up and trying to hold back tears.

It was A's fault, and I wanted them to pay for that. I wanted to be free of them.

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