Jealousy Conceals Love

Chapter Twenty Eight - The After-Effect

- Blake -

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It's been five days; five days since I received the best orgasm of my life... and it's all I can think about.

It was unimaginably breath taking, every single second of it and every single touch. It was like a warmth of electricity had exploded around every single part of me and I was completely dazed by the feeling. In that moment it was like time had stopped and I didn't have anything to care about apart from what was happening inside that room. Inside her room. Inside her bed...

And then it hit me.

It took about seven minutes after she had left me alone in her room for me to wrap my head around the situation, to take in what we actually just did, and by that point I felt myself needing to get out.

A girl made me feel like that... Hayley Gray made me feel like that. The person I've spent every day of the last few months hating relentlessly. I should've hated or been repulsed by the whole thing, but instead I felt the complete opposite. So despite my mind telling me not to leave, especially after the way she looked at me when I told her I was going to, for the second time I reluctantly walked away from her.

The drive back to Steph's house was what was expected. I didn't want to go home after everything that happened with my father so obviously Steph let me stay at hers, but not without giving me a whole interview on why I was at Hayley's house, in fact I barely even got into the car and she was bombarding me with questions.

I already knew it was coming, but I wasn't exactly ready to tell her that I had just had debatably the best sex of my life with the girl she knows I hate, especially when I hadn't even processed it myself, so consequently I told her half the truth; I argued with my father, then Hayley found me walking in the rain, and then she offered for me to use her shower and borrow her clothes to warm up.

Seemingly Steph believed my story which wasn't really surprising because it was the truth... I just missed out a small minor detail. However she still poked around on the details a little bit after I told her, I mean why wouldn't she find it weird that Hayley let me borrow her shower and use her clothes, but I made sure to keep my mouth shut. Besides, it's not like she would ever guess what actually happened between Hayley and I anyway, why would she?

It's now Friday, I'm sat at the back of my English class, and for the first time in a while I have spent the majority of the lesson actually looking at the board instead of the back of Hayley's head. In fact, that's all I have done these past five days... avoided her.

I wish I could say it's not been intentional but of course it fucking has. How the fuck am I supposed to talk to her after everything we said and after everything we did? How the fuck am I supposed to face her when every time I look at her all I can think about is her tongue inside my-

No, I definitely cannot face her.

It's not like I regret it, because I don't, and that's the problem. I don't regret it one bit and that's exactly what's tearing up my mind. How can I sleep with a girl, Hayley Gray, and then like it as much as I did? And why do I so badly want to relive every single moment of it all over again?

I can't be attracted to girls so maybe I'm just attracted to her. That is a logical explanation because all you need to do is look at her for it to become clear that she's fucking attractive. But that does not mean that I'm... gay. That would mean I would want to be in a relationship with a girl, and I obviously don't want that, nor would I ever want to be in a relationship with her.