𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨 | 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐨𝐤𝐮

𝙏𝙬𝙤 ▫ 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

"Alright, listen up everyone!" Kunikida announced, "The president wants us to have our personal records fully updated by the end of this week."

Dazai, who was lying on the sofa, immediately paused his music and his eyes widened. That would mean whoever saw his records would know about his marriage to a mafia executive. Not only that, he was pretty sure everyone thinks he's as straight as a ruler. And Kunikida checks through those records before handing them to the president. Only Kouyou knows about the marriage, as Chuuya can't seem to hide anything from that woman.

"Dazai, don't even think about skipping this. These are important papers."

Kunikida handed the paperwork to Dazai.

"Yeah yeah, okay." he replied and went back to listening to music.

ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ...

"Dazai, your records please?"

"They're not finished."

"What do you mean, not finished?! You've had all week!" Kunikida yelled, "Haven't you filled in everything?"

"Well, yes I have."

"Then they're finished!"

Kunikida looked like he was about to throw something halfway across the room at this point.

Ranpo interrupted, "He's filled in all he needs to. He just needs his partner's signature."

"You...partner? Impossible! How can someone as irresponsible as you be married?!"

"Kunikida, don't you think someone as handsome as me would be married?"

"I suppose that makes sense..." Yosano mumbled.

"So who are you married to Dazai?" Atsushi asked.

"Not telling!"

"I know!" Ranpo smiled mischievously.

"Anyway, why haven't they signed it?" Kunikida asked.

"They're simply too busy with work at the moment, but I suppose I could get them to drop by on Monday."

Chuuya being busy with work wasn't entirely a lie, but Dazai wanted an excuse to delay the reveal of their relationship as much as possible.

"I guess that's acceptable enough." Kunikida said, "If that paperwork isn't finished by Monday, then there will be sanctions."

"I won't let you down Kunikida!" Dazai put his headphones on, "You can't do a double suicide just by yourself..."

Kunikida simply sighed and went back to his work.

-

"I'm curious about who he's married to now. Hey Ranpo, I'll buy you a ton of sweets if you tell me." Yosano whispered.

"Fine, I can't refuse that. He's married to Chuuya Nakahara, Port Mafia executive." Ranpo whispered back, "I trust you not to tell anyone else until Dazai does."

She gasped, "Wait, that's so cute! Never knew Dazai was into guys. Me and Chuuya are drinking buddies, you see. I suppose he did mention something about a partner once..."

"You're welcome, I'll be expecting those sweets."

"Thank you, I'll bring some in on Monday."

⚊

438 words.

I love the headcanon that Yosano and Chuuya go out drinking together.