SpaceBalls: DeadMC66 Edition

Prison Rescue

SpaceBall One No POV

Helmet:<deep voice> so, Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches to have my way with you the way I want to.

Helmet isn't really doing anything to Vespa, he's playing with dolls of the characters. He had them for some reason.

Helmet:<high pitch voice> no, please! Leave me alone. <deep voice> no, you are mine. <stupid voice> not so fast, Helmet. <deep voice> Lone Starr. <stupid voice> yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. <deep voice> now you are going to die. <hits the dolls of lone starr then does a fat guy voice> hey, what'd you do to my friend? <deep voice> the same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy. <hits the Barf doll down> you three as well. <hits the dolls of Wade, Lena and Dot down> now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. <high pitch voice> no, I hate you. Leave me alone! Yet I find you strangely attractive. <deep voice> of course you do. Druish Princesses are often attracted to money and power. And I both. And you know it. Too bad your sister didn't want to join us. <high pitch voice> leave me alone! <deep voice> no, kiss me! <does a little struggle then does the high pitch voice> your helmet is so big.

Sandurz:<opens the door> Lord Helmet.

Helmet:<grabs the dolls and hides them> what?

Sandurz: you're needed on the bridge, sir!

Helmet: knock on my door. Knock next time!

Sandurz: yes, sir.

Helmet: did you see anything?

Sandurz: no, sir. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir.

Helmet: good.

Sandurz:<leaves and closes the door>

Spaceball City

Skroob was taking a whiz on his toilet as the wall he was facing had a screen and Commanderette Zircon called.

Zircon:<screen> President Skroob.

Skroob: I told you never to call me on this wall. This is an unlisted wall.

Zircon:<screen> sorry, sir, but it's very important. The Princesses have just been brought to your office, Lord Helmet, Colonel Sandurz and Admiral Sandurz are awaiting you there.

Skroob: all right. Tell them I'll be right there.

Zircon:<screen> yes, sir. <salutes>

Skroob salutes back but covers his crotch as Zircon saw it but did a face that kind of said "I've seen bigger" as she logged off and Skroob finished his business.

Skroob's Office

Dark Helmet, the Sandurz brothers, a doctor, a hot nurse, a guy that carries golf clubs were there as Lena and Vespa were strapped onto two tables and were hoisted up as King Roland was on the screen. Also the nurse was looking at Donovan in a very suggestive manner.

Roland:<screen> Helmet, you fiend! What's going on? What are you doing to my daughters?

Helmet:<face plate down> permit me to introduce the brilliant young plastic surgeon, Dr Phillip Schlotkin. The greatest nose job man in the entire universe and Beverly Hills.

Schlotkin: your highness.

Roland:<screen> nose job? I don't understand. Vespa's already had a nose job. It was her sweet-sixteen present. Lena never had to get a nose job.

Helmet: no, it's not what you think. It's much, much worse. If you do not give me the combination to the air shield, Dr. Schlotkin will give your daughter back her old nose and her sister an identical one.