Coin Flip - Lo'ak

16:

Lo'ak's pov:

"I mean can you blame me?" I had tried gathering my thoughts after Avera left. With only Payakan and my thoughts, I could try piecing together pretty much everything.

From what just happened, to every other interaction I've had with Avera, and how they've all been violent in some way.

From the get go, I've hated everything about this place. I hated moving away from what I've grown up with, losing Spider and not knowing how to help him or where he even was, then having to adapt to this new habitat where we were practically scum to everyone else. "Babies" they called us. She called us.

We had to learn things from scratch as babies would.

To come from being second in line of becoming the future Olo'eyktan of our clan, to the weakest link in every island within these waters, was a cold reality.

And who was she to comment on anything? She was just like us! She was abandoned and lonely, she had no one and practically still has no one, other than my stupid brother wrapped around her little finger.

She just aggravated me. From the first second of knowing her.

She judged us just like everyone else had, took time in noting our similarities and yet still had the audacity to study our appearance that first day on the beach where she emerged from the water.

Then, she and my brother somehow started getting along. And it was hard determining why that annoyed me so much but I concluded it to one thing: She managed to make Neteyam happy without even trying.

I've been trying for years to have this crazy strong bond with him as he does with Tuk and Kiri, and yet each passing year, I feel like I keep making reckless decisions which in return cause our relationship to become rocky. He keeps taking the blame for my chaotic decisions - even when I thought they'd be a perfect opportunity for brotherly bonding. Years, I've been trying to show him I am responsible enough to have fun with, to smile and be happy with me, years. And it took her hours.

Then, at the beach, I lost it. I had no clue what washed over me that day that I grabbed her forearm, causing bruises.

"Jealousy," Payakan sounded.

It startled me - his response. I completely forgot I was voicing my thoughts aloud. Nevertheless, his response was completely and utterly wrong. Jealous of what? Her? Never!

What was happening was that ever since we came here, everything had been stripped from me and my family.

First, our clan. We left them. Then our sense of identity when having to learn all these new skills, like breathing, and swimming, and riding an ilu, and more. We are outcasts of this clan. Barely accepted and constantly reminded that we are different due to everyone's glances. And then, to top it all off, it even felt like my family were being ripped away from me.

My father and I were already on rocky grounds and somehow, it keeps getting worse with everything I do. My sisters have been busy getting to know the water and nature of this place, completely ignoring my constant reminding of how our home was much better in every way, I would not allow them to forget where we came from. And Neteyam, well he was entirely slipping away from me and into her grip.

She was the bane of my existence.

"Funny. Someone you hate is someone you like." Payakan sounded again. It was hard to understand him but we both spoke in choppy sentences before we could talk fluently to one another.

I had to piece together what he truly meant. Interpret his simple wording that I'm sure had a much deeper meaning.

What did he mean "someone you like?"