Youth | Gyuhao

- 24

| Chapter Twenty - Four — Truth hurts |

Minghao leaves before Mingyu wakes up.

He knows it's wrong, and he knows it's selfish. But it was the sight of Mingyu's bare back that had him panicking and remembering everything that happened the previous night.

When he said he'd deal with all this shit later, he was unmistakably underestimating the power it would soon hold on him.

He had scrambled out of bed at 7 in the morning, retrieving his wrinkled clothes off the ground to rush and put them back on, his lower spine aching in a dull pain.

Mingyu stayed asleep. Minghao's thankful.

He feels like if he were forced to meet Mingyu's eyes, he would've stayed. He should've stayed. He really wanted to stay.

But Mingyu was dangerous. And Minghao knew he was dangerous but still admitted everything.

They literally exchanged 'I Love Yous' last night and Minghao still can't tell if he regrets it or not.

Minghao was too vulnerable last night, that's the excuse he'll use for now.

So now, Minghao knocks on a different door, tears beaming in his eyes the longer he waits for it to open, all the memories messing with his head and clouding his brain.

Bright eyes stare at him when the door opens.

"Hyung?"

"Seungkwan," Minghao immediately broke out into a sob at the mere sight of his friend. Seungkwan looked like he was at the verge of panicking as soon as the first tear fell, "K-Kwan..."

"Hyungie, what's wrong?" Seungkwan frowned, pulling Minghao into a hug that he so desperately was in need of, "Come in, come in." He ushered Minghao inside.

"I ruined everything." Minghao's sitting down on Seungkwan's couch now, completely forgetting that roommates exist until he feels another pair of eyes on him. He sniffles, "Sorry, Chan."

"Don't be." Chan's frowning too. Minghao's so sick of people looking sad because of him, "What's going on, hyung?"

Both of his friends are on each of his sides, with Seungkwan's hand resting on his back and Chan's on both of his own.

Minghao feels reassured, but he can still feel that deep, dark hole of despair swirling in his veins.

"I don't know." And Minghao really doesn't.

Seungkwan and Chan spare each other a glance, both signaling that they really don't know what's going on either.

Minghao sniffles, "I'm sorry." He says, wiping at his eyes as the sobbing slows down a bit, "I didn't mean to just come over here and cry like this."

"Don't be sorry for being sad." Seungkwan pouts, "Hyung, tell us what's wrong. We can help."

But they can't.

Nobody can.

Minghao has dug himself so impossibly deep into this hole that Mingyu had built.

He's stuck, trapped down under like he's fallen into an unexpected well.

He feels sick to his stomach, and he knows there's no words or phrases that can do the job of healing him. There's no medicine that can cure the illness he knows he has.

So, with a heavy breath and a beat of his heart, this is the first thing he says—

"Just don't tell Junhui or Soonyoung."

_____________

They told Junhui and Soonyoung.

Minghao should be mad. He should be angry and devastated that both of his friends told the others, but the only emotion he thinks he feels is one he can't quite put a name to.

Relief that people cared about him?

Content in knowing that he knew this would happen eventually?

As soon as Minghao walks into the station on Monday, Soonyoung's already waltzing over, and Junhui's not too far behind.

"Where is he?" Soonyoung looks like a cartoon villain. From the way his teeth grit all the way to how his cheeks flare up from all the smoke of the fire in his chest, climbing up his throat like acid.

"Hyung—"

"No— Where is he? I'll kick his ass." Soonyoung tried to push past Minghao, but he held him back with a long whine of exhaustion.

He was just tired.

Tired of everything.

"Stop." He pleaded, cold and quiet, but serious.

"I fucking knew that guy was an asshole, I knew it." Junhui growls, "What the fuck did he do to you?" The man's just as worried as Soonyoung, picking up and lifting Minghao's arms, ducking down and twisting him around, "Did he hurt you or anything? Did he hit you?"

Minghao shrugs him off, "He didn't hit me." He feels almost numb.

It's like the pain from everything that has happened this past month has put a permanent mark on him.

It's tattooed his soul— It's tainted it.

"Myungho." Soonyoung jut out a lip, saddened, "What happened to you?"

Minghao stares at the ground, something he's been doing ever since this conversation started.

He finds himself shrugging with the last amount of energy his body betrothed.

"Everything I'm used to."