Youth | Gyuhao

- 45

| Chapter Forty - Five — Pathological |

"What if we ran away?" Minghao's voice is frail against Mingyu's chest, coming out worn out and hollow.

Mingyu isn't fond of it.

He nudges the younger boy back just barely, hoping to capture a glimpse of his face, "Ran away?"

Minghao hums, "I don't want to be with anyone else," He says, "You don't want to be with anyone else. What's the point of staying around here anymore? Nothing else matters when we're with each other." Mingyu knows Minghao's right about that, but he fears he's wrong about the bigger picture. The consequences of doing just that.

"As much as I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you—" Mingyu sighs deeply, "You can't just abandon what you already have."

"And what do I have, Mingyu?"

"People that love you."

A scoff falls past Minghao's lips before he can stop it, "They don't love me." He says, a snarl close to painting his face, "If they loved me they would've bothered to visit me at all these past few months." He shakes his head, snuggling further up into Mingyu, "They don't love me."

Mingyu tenses so abruptly that Minghao even catches it.

"Something wrong?"

Mingyu avoids eye contact, "Everything's fine."

Minghao blinks, "You're lying."

"Why would I lie to you?"

"You tell me, Gyu." Minghao sits up, dark hair falling in front of his eyes as he tilts his head ever so slightly, "You tell me."

Mingyu parts his lips, silent.

Minghao hates the way he gets the point of the silence almost immediately. It makes him feel like he's drowning, like his guts have gone cold and his chest has caved into his body.

The pain of the realization hurts so bad that it forces him close his eyes.

"They visited, didn't they?" Minghao's eyes are burning. He recognizes the heat pooling in his eyes as tears he so desperately never wanted to let go, "Every single one of them."

Mingyu finally snaps out of whatever shell he went into, "It's not that big of a deal."

"'Not that big of a deal'?" Minghao scoffs like he's about to laugh at the world's funniest joke, "I've been awake for almost two days and was purposely ignoring them because I thought—" He's slowly slipping away from Mingyu's hold, "I thought..."

"Minghao, come on—"

"I'm so sick of all these lies, Mingyu," Minghao sighs softly, "You— You lie to me all the time and I'm so sick of it, I'm just so... so sick—"

"Minghao, stop." Mingyu groans, "Look, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just—" He sighs again, "They were just so awful to you. And to see them so quick to run all the way to the hospital and suck up to you the moment they found out you weren't well made my skin crawl. They didn't deserve—"

"Oh my god," Minghao makes his way out of the room, "Oh my god, Mingyu—"

Mingyu's quick to chase after him, almost tripping with his legs tangled in the sheets.

"Baby, hold on—"

"Refrain from calling me that when you're being like this." Minghao leans against the kitchen doorframe and just glares at him, mad that he can't just leave because they're both in his own apartment.

"I'm sorry." Mingyu says.

"Sorry just doesn't cut it with you anymore," Minghao hates to say it. But it's the truth, "You can't keep doing horrible things so many times and just keep getting away with it."

"And I get that, I do. With you, I get it."

Minghao's expression sours, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm in a fucking gang, Minghao. I kill people for a damn living and I'm only here and still making mistake after mistake because I can't stand the thought of you being hurt by somebody else even more because of me."

"A gang?" It tastes weird on Minghao's tongue. He had his suspicions, but he wasn't too sure, "Even more because of you? What?"

Mingyu runs a hand through his hair, already frustrated, "I lied that day. The day I told you I was leaving because of Jihoon and Wonwoo. That big job opportunity in Illinois, remember?"

Minghao nods slowly, unsure of what path this conversation is heading down.

"I left for you. I left to protect you. Only to find out that it was a stupid thing to do because I come back to you being gutted." Mingyu laughs in defeat, looking so tired, so exhausted.

"I don't understand." Minghao does but he doesn't all at once. He feels like his heart is racing a million miles per minute, "Are... Are people after me?" His voice is shrill, on the tip of terrified, "You're saying I got fucking stabbed because of you?"

Mingyu cringes, "No! No, that's—"

"Get out." Minghao's shaking, backing up as far into the wall behind him as he can.

This is too much.

Things had just gotten better and now...

Now look at them.

Mingyu looks like he's just been shot. Minghao doesn't think he's ever seen Mingyu look just as wrecked as he does in this moment. It's heartbreaking to see, but Minghao doesn't care. He can't. He shouldn't care.

"What?" Mingyu's eyes have never been so wide. He looks distraught, horrified, "No."

"Get the fuck out of my apartment." Minghao spits, arms crossed as he stares at Mingyu with a type of hate he himself didn't know he'd ever be capable of feeling towards another person.

"I won't," Mingyu shakes his head, "I can't leave you alone again. God knows what will happen. They'll hurt you again."

"It's not them I'm afraid of."

Boom.

Mingyu freezes completely. Minghao almost feels bad considering how pained he looks.

"If you don't leave, I will." Minghao breathes.

Mingyu doesn't move. So, true to his word, Minghao bolts in the other direction, slipping on his shoes with a quick swipe of his sweater, opening his front door so fast it almost gives him whiplash.

It's raining when Minghao makes it outside.

Of-fucking-course it is.

He feels like he's in a book. A very shitty and basic ass book that doesn't care about his feelings or Mingyu's character development whatsoever.

The rain soaks his clothes and mixes with his tears all the same. He pushes past people smart enough to have worn a raincoat or brought an umbrella, paying them all no mind, crossing his arms and tasting each and every raindrop and salt streaked tear that rolls down his face.

He just wants everything to be okay.

He just wants to go back to the time he knew Mingyu as no other than the clumsy guy who had dropped his wallet. He wants to remember him as the guy who's obsessed with him and doesn't care what other people think as he flirts with and kisses Minghao until he can't fucking breathe.

Minghao doesn't like this new Mingyu.

At all.