Just for Now

Journal Entry - 5

"Kiss for good luck?"

"Not a chance, Alvarez."

It was our senior year of high school now.

It had been a few years since I made my "move" at the dance. People had stopped asking Alli out at this point. Everyone seemed to assume we were dating, which I didn't mind.

I was a wimp, okay? I hadn't actually asked her to be my girlfriend yet. But it was our senior year and I was feeling good about it. I was getting the feeling that she liked me back.

We even had the same college plans. She got a scholarship to Dumont College and I got into their business program. I wasn't worried about our future together. Even if we weren't going to the same school, we'd figure it out. I wanted to take this next step together— officially, together.

I just hoped she felt the same way.

Everything had led up to this moment— this game. It was the last game of the playoffs for football and we only had one team in our way to the championship title.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Friday night and the stadium lights were blinding. But my focus was on the girl who was leaning against the metal fence that separate the stands and the field.

"Good luck," Alli told me brightly. She was wearing my jersey, it always made me play better when she did that. I loved seeing her in my jersey.

"I'll win this one for you." It was cheesy, but it made her laugh, and I loved being able to do that. I turned to head towards the field but she stopped me.

"Hey, Cole!" Alli called out after me.

She didn't waste a second when I turned back to her her. She grabbed me by the jersey over the fence, yanking me towards her. I was confused for a moment, but then she kissed me.

Alli kissed me like our lives depended on it. Like this was best thing we could ever do in this moment. Like this was the last thing we would do.

She kissed me and everything made sense. Like the last eighteen years finally had purpose, that they led up to something.

She kissed me like I finally gave her the sun.

She pulled back and laughed when she saw my face. Guess I must've looked pretty surprised.

"For good luck," Alli told me quietly.

I didn't miss a beat. "Must be pretty damn lucky if that just happened."

She looked like she wanted to kiss me again, but instead, said, "Now, go win, and maybe we can do that again."

And that was what I did.

Because I'd be damned if I didn't wanna do that again.

I had never played that well in my life.

I threw the ball perfectly every time. We made every touchdown we went for. We didn't miss. It was the first game that I really felt like I gave it my all. I gave it everything I had. I even pointed at her whenever I got a touchdown. She acted embarrassed when I did, but she didn't stop smiling even once.

And we won the game.

Alli stuck true to her word, too.

Because after the game, she ran right towards me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck again and didn't hesitate. She kissed me again, and it felt better than winning the stupid football game.

When we pulled apart, I asked, "Will you go out with me?"

But she couldn't make it easy for me. She raised her eyebrows and teasingly asked, "Go out... where? Exactly?"

It was time to be blunt, because this had to work. "On a date. A real one, this time. Be with me. Be my girlfriend."

Alli smiled, and kissed me again. When she pulled back, she said, "I'd love to."

Definitely can't complain about our first kiss. I replay that moment over and over in my head all the time. Sometimes I still feel like I'm that dazed kid who just got kissed by the love of his life.

Part of me wishes we could've stayed there forever.