Our Band | Tom Kaulitz

The Klein Twins

July 1, 2009.

Six years after my brother passed away.

My twin actually.

My dad left when i was younger and my mom really only sees me when she wants money.

My brother was the only one i had left.

Sage and Elias. The Klein Twins.

The guys never really talked to my brother considering we were busy with our music a lot. But, i still made sure that i spent time with him.

I feel like i've been out on a spiral lately. Nowhere to go, nowhere to run or walk, just in a circle ever since i lost him.

The guys are always there to help me, and sometimes i feel like Elias is still here.

Me and him were attached at the hip.

He helped me when dad left, that was when i found out the truth.

I was the reason my dad hated our family.

My so-called "father" only wanted a boy.

My mother didn't reveal the genders before birth because she was afraid he'd leave.

He did anyways.

I tried so hard. For him, and my mother.

But, when he left everything changed.

My mother started appearing less and less in my life, only speaking to my brother.

She would even wish him a happy birthday and not me.

I felt like a mistake, a shadow in my brother's figure.

Like i was invisible in her eyes.

Because she blamed me.

But, she had the right to.

I was the reason our father didn't want to have a family anymore. So, he resulted in a younger girl, who he said could "give him what he wanted".

My brother was all i had left.

I was older, much to what felt like everyone's dismay.

I wasn't what they were looking for.

It pained me every time i seen Elias happy with mom and dad.

I was an outcast to the family.

They didn't care where i was, only Elias did.

He was always checking on me.

And one day, he was gone.

Quicker than you could even imagine.

My brother who made me feel safe, was gone.

The way i found out was never what i wanted.

I was walking into the door after band practice, and immediately was met with the sound of yelling.

"He is dead because of her! Is this what you wanted! Our only son, our only good child, gone!" our father was screaming and his face was a sickly color.

"I never meant for this to happen! I never wanted Sage, neither of us did! We only wanted Elias! We just had to keep her around so we didn't go to jail!"

I knew it.

I was just a pawn in their family to keep them safe from what they didn't want.

I was never in the Klein family.