Spacedog Oneshots

Tears of Guilt

(I just wanted to make angst with them 👹😈😈)

"I will not let you treat me like this anymore. The constant insults, the gaslighting, everything. I am done with you!" Adam protested as he had tears forming in his eyes.

"And what? Do you think you can do better? Don't make me laugh. No one would ever want an autistic, nerdy idiot as their partner." Nigel rolled his eyes. Adam felt his heartbreak and he looked up at Nigel in disbelief. His boyfriend, his beloved, said that to him.

Nigel laughed at the way Adam was starting to lose his temper. He knew that he would have the complete upper hand over Adam once he broke apart entirely. "You know what your problem is Adam? You are too nice. You don't have the guts to go through with anything." Nigel snapped coldly as he moved in closer to Adam, looking him in the eyes. "You and I both know that you will never leave me."

"You're right.." Adam mumbled looking down and then back at Nigel. "I can't but I know that you are no good for me or anyone." He wiped his eyes and before he left he said something. "I loved you, Nigel. I truly did..." Even though Nigel was angry those words stung like poison.

Nigel's face quickly morphed into a look of disappointment. He didn't expect that Adam would say those words to him. Nigel was hurt. "Wait, wait..." Nigel whispered as he tried to grab Adam's hand. "Adam, I love you! I didn't mean those things." Nigel was desperate for Adam not to abandon him. He could not lose the first person who ever actually loved him and accepted him for who he was.

Adam quickly moved his hand away from Nigel and looked up at him in the eyes. "Then why would you say such cruel, true things about me to my face? I already know I'm stupid and even lucky to have someone!" He raised his voice a bit, clearly still angry at him.

Nigel looked down, clearly ashamed of what he did. "I was just joking, okay? You know I don't mean those things. I was just trying to get a reaction out of you." Nigel was sad and upset at himself. He was just wanting to play around with Adam, not hurt his feelings. He never wanted to hurt Adam's feelings, it was just supposed to be a joke. "I'm so sorry Adam, please come back!"

"Well, you got more than you asked for." Adam snapped as he then walked off to their bedroom. He locked the door behind him and Adam fell on the floor and curled up, Nigel could faintly hear him crying.

Nigel ran to the door and began banging on it. "Adam! Adam open the door! Please come out! I didn't mean it! I don't want us to break up!" Nigel was terrified that he had lost the only genuine relationship he ever had in his entire life. He knew that if he didn't rectify things with Adam, he would be alone and left in despair for the rest of his life.

"Please just leave me be.." Adam said through sobs and cries, he needed time. He sat there as he kept crying. Every sob that Nigel heard cracked his heart into smaller pieces.

Nigel felt his heart breaking right in front of him. He was losing the only person who ever truly accepted him. "No no no no no... please! I'm sorry! Please open up!" Nigel continued to beg. He didn't want to have to live without Adam's love and care. It would be a very lonely life, one that Nigel could not bear. "You are the only one for me, Adam... I can't lose you like this! I just can't!"

Adam covers his ears as he keeps weeping into his knees. He was overstimulated and he couldn't take it anymore.

Nigel felt himself on the verge of tears. He finally realized that it was too late. He had pushed Adam too far and this time, he couldn't come back. As much as he wanted to be strong, he cried for adam. He felt like a villain now. He was the one who got what they asked for, and now nobody can take it back. He let the waterworks flow, not being able to hold them back anymore. He just sat there, weeping on the floor.

It was now the next day and Nigel awoke, he must have passed out from crying. He saw that the bedroom door was open and Adam was in there waiting for Nigel. Adam sat at the edge of the bed waiting for him. He had his back to Nigel as he looked out the window.

"Adam..." Nigel said softly, still recovering from his breakdown the previous night. He felt awful about what he did last night and was scared to talk to Adam after everything that happened. He didn't want to see Adam's expression or face their wrath. The only thing he wanted to do now was make sure that he and Adam were all right. He approached Adam slowly, not wanting to startle them or possibly remind them about the previous night. He sat down next to Adam and just listened to the silence between them.

The two sat in silence for a while before Nigel gave in to look at Adam's expression. He looked calm as he looked straight-forward instead of away from Nigel. Adam soon grabbed Nigel's hand and intertwined his fingers with Nigel's.

Nigel felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at Adam's expression. He couldn't believe that Adam wasn't angry or upset with him. He took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. He felt like this was going to be a turning point in their relationship. He was hopeful that this would be a positive change, and not another argument or fight. "I'm so sorry about last night Adam... I was just being stupid." He looked down at the ground, feeling ashamed.

Before Nigel could go on to apologize Adam put a hand over Nigel's mouth. Adam hushed him before leaning his head onto Nigel's shoulder. He seemed tired but he... had forgiven him already.

Nigel felt Adam's hand come over his mouth and he was immediately silent. He didn't even try to break free of Adam's grip, simply letting it happen out of respect for his boyfriend. He felt an overwhelming wave of relief and happiness. He never wanted to be without Adam ever again.