Addicted

{three}

+
I'm wandering aimlessly to find Matthew but I can't find him anywhere.

While walking I bump into someone, "watch where you're going", they say.

I look up to see Taylor. Of course.

"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's your problem with me? What did I ever do to you?"
He starts shaking his head and laughing, "you're so clueless, I swear."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't act like you don't know, Josie!" he says with his voice raised.
"Don't yell at her, Taylor" I hear from behind me. I turn around to see Matthew walking towards us.
"Whatever, Matthew. Don't let your head get too far up her ass."

Matthew puts his arm around me waist and pulls me away and out the door.

"I'm sorry about him, Josie. I don't know what his problem is.."
"Yeah I don't know either.."

+

We arrive at the beach and we leave our shoes in the car so they don't get ruined. We walk out onto the sand and start to walk along the water.

"Are you sure you really want to be spending time with someone like me?" Matthew asks.
"Of course I do.. I mean at first we both know why both of us went on the date, but I really did have a good time.. I guess I never asked you if you had a good time and wanted to do this too.."
Matthew smiles to himself, "oh I do.."
I start to smile too, "okay good!" Matthew's hand brushes against mine before he fumbles to intertwine our fingers together. He looks at me for reassurance and I give him a smile to tell him it's ok.

"Can I admit something to you, Josie?" he asks sheepishly.
"Of course"
"I've actually kind of liked you for a- for a while... A long while..."
I start to blush, "oh Matthew, that's so sweet..."
"Ever since that day on the playground, actually.."
"Really?" I ask in shock.
He nods his head and starts to blush.

I feel bad. That was 6 years ago. And I've never really thought about him in a romantic way until now, yet he's been thinking about me in that way this whole time. I mean, yes, in elementary school I had a little crush on him, but that isn't the same. How couldn't I have noticed him sooner?

"Can I ask you something, Matthew?"
"Anything."
"Why haven't talked to me since elementary school? We used to be so close but until yesterday we hadn't spoken in what, 5 or 6 years? Yet we've been in the same classes that whole time.."
Matthew gulps, "I think the real question is, why haven't you talked to me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Once 6th grade started you were instantly popular and you weren't like me anymore. We used to be the odd ones out together. The whole class would want to watch Shrek but we'd want to watch a documentary on whales because it was a better use of time. We weren't like the other kids. But suddenly you changed. People started to actually appreciate you like I always thought you deserved and then you were gone. And ever since then you've been the most popular girl in school. You could get any guy in the school but for some reason you're choosing to be here with me right now.."

I don't even know what to say.. I can't tell if this is an insult or not but I don't want to believe that it's my fault.

Matthew stops walking and turns to me, "listen, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with change. You are an amazing girl and I wouldn't change anything about who you've become. I'm just saying I'm not the one who stopped talking to you..."
"I'm so sorry, Matthew..." I say faintly as I start to tear up. He takes his thumb and wipes the tears that fall down my face.
"Please don't cry, Josie.. I didn't mean to make you upset... I hope you aren't mad at me... I understand if you are though..."
"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself... How could I leave you like that?"
"When a guy like Sammy, star of the football team, falls in love with you, you don't stay with your nerdy best friend."
"But why would I choose a crush over a best friend? I'm so stupid.." I say as I look down to the ground. He wraps his arms around me and I set my head on his shoulder.
"It's ok, Josie... We're here now, and that's all that matters, ok?" he says as he holds my chin up. I nod and I lean in to kiss him. He leans in too as he moves his hand from my chin to holding my face. When he kisses me, it feels like fireworks go off. I wrap my hands around his neck and one of his hand slides down to my lower back and he pulls me closer. The kiss intensifies and he picks me up so I'm straddling him. He starts to kiss my neck as I run my fingers through his hair. When he kisses my sweet spot, I can't help but let out a soft moan.

He stops kissing me abruptly and I look at him with vast confusion.

"Let's go," he says as he flips me into his back and runs back to his car.

AN: Don't worry, the whole problem with Taylor will come back up soon.. ;) And what do you think will develop with Matthew?