Book IV of the UNC Series
Carter Blake has a bone-deep hatred for the world-and especially for the people in it. All he wants is to keep his head down, focus on school and basketball, and avoid the mess of human connection. After enduring years of...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I stare up at the muted sky. Fluttering snowflakes dance around me to the tune of their own music, cascading to create a mirage of cleanliness and whiteness in the sheets of snow that cover every surface around me. It's a winter wonderland, as everyone celebrates the upcoming holidays, eager for a break from school or work, gatherings with families and friends, a long-awaited vacation, or simply lying in bed, cozy by the fireplace.
Whatever it is, everyone's expectant for the upcoming days, while it seems like I'm just stuck in an endless loop of misery.
As I approach the building, a gust of wind burns my face, the cold whipping against my skin in angry lashes. My dreams and hopes have accumulated in this one place. This one structure that remains. This feels like my only salvation, my only break from that loop.
When I was younger and still had a curious mind that had hoped to dream, I aspired to reconnect with my mom one day through our love for art and ink. I used to draw on every surface I could find and eventually drew on myself what I wanted to tattoo. I was ambitious.
But my ambition was snuffed out by Ricky's cruel treatment. His abuse had dug its way into my mind and quelled the only hope I had for myself. I didn't think I would be here for so long, and I didn't dare dream of a future that could so easily be taken away, for a future I had no control over. That thought deepened when my best friend, Liv, was diagnosed with breast cancer and then lung cancer.
She left me, and I ran away because I didn't deserve the life I had built around her. I left behind Ricky long before that. And for a while, I was walking around aimlessly with no purpose. I got into Weston University because of Liv, and I only went to some of my classes because she asked me to. Otherwise, I would have left the city entirely. And maybe I should have. Perhaps I should have told her the truth of my past and left. Because then maybe Ricky wouldn't have found me again when I had turned 18.
Because by the time he found me again, I had grown the ability to dream again. I thought maybe it was all possible.
On my way to Spencer's place during the winter holidays in my first year at Weston, I came upon this very building. It wasn't as worn down as it is now, but the foreclosed building looked haunted and abandoned.
The doors were boarded up on the outside, the windows were broken into and peering inside, graffiti marred the drywall, and the light fixtures were shattered. The brick was cracked, and vines had grown along the side. There was garbage littered everywhere, snow seeping in through the windows.
Despite all this, I still somehow saw its beauty. Before my eyes, I saw the place transform into what it could be. I saw light streaming through the large windows, creating ambient space and evoking a relaxed setting. I saw the wall of stencils and the already existing vines, which added to the aesthetic of the place. I pictured myself standing there with a chair and a client. I could hear the buzz of the needle, the whirl of the air conditioning, and music pumping through the speakers.
