Naruto x suicidal male reader

Peace was never an option.

"Sasuke. I'm at point B."

"Sakura. I'm at point C."

"Naruto, I'm at point A, Believe it!"

"Go slow Naruto. M/n, where are you right now?" (lmao that's what she said)

Silence...

"M/n. Answer me." Kakashi said into his earpiece.

"M/-"

Right before Kakashi could finish, a small ball of white and green burst out of the bushes and snatched a brown creature up in their arms.

The creature hissed and yowled before looking up at the figure.

You stared down at the fuzzy animal in your arms as it ceased all movements and stared back at you with wide eyes.

Three other figures soon entered the clearing and joined you at your side.

"Hey! I was going to catch that cat! Believe it!" Naruto said with a large pout. Sakura placed her hands on her hips with a scowl on her face.

"M/n, you can't just act without telling us! We coulda lost the cat again!" she scolded.

Sasuke crossed his arms and scanned your appearance with a judgemental glare.

"What are you wearing?"

"Oh, a goose costume." you said and shook your tail
feathers.

"M/n, why are you dressed as a goose?" Kakashi sighed while appearing from the bushes.

You and your team looked over to Kakashi and waited for him to stop in front of the four of you before you held the cat up by the scruff and pulled out a large kitchen knife.

"Because peace was never an option." you said in a low voice.

Kakashi immediately kicked the knife out of your hand, having it narrowly miss Naruto's head by a few inches.

Kakashi then had you tucked under his arm with your front facing forward and had the cat by the scruff in his other hand.

"Naruto, take the cat." Kakashi said and placed the cat in Naruto's arms, which the animal proceeded to fight and yowl.

"C'mon, i wasn't actually gonna kill the cat, i was going to kill myself."

"That doesn't make it any better, kid!" Kakashi said

"What is with you and killing yourself, M/n?" sakura asked once coming up to your side with furrowed eyebrows.

"Hmm.... Maybe bcoz death takes no bribes" you said with a sleepy expression.

Shivers crawled up the pinkette's spine at that and
decided to try and chat up sauce-gay instead.

Kakashi walked with you under his arm the rest of the time, paying no mind to the looks he got in the village because of him holding a child wearing a goose costume under his arm.

"NO!!!!!"

The hokage and iruka looked up in mild surprise at
being interrupted. You watched Naruto with boredom etched all over your face and popped some berries in your mouth and chewed.

"I don't want to watch some guy's kid! I want a real
mission! Something challenging!!!" Naruto yelled
angrily with his arms crossed in an 'X.

"Yeah, let's do that one mission with the gang of thieves that."

"NO." everyone including naruto and the hokage himself said in unison.

You looked at naruto in disbelief and betrayal.