I'm laying on the bed, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling to calm myself down. After what felt like an hour, I sit up, intending to move my body away from the comfortable matress. My legs are already dangling down from the edge of the bed and I'm about to stand up any second.
I have to getmyclothes, then go. It'swaytoolate already...
Right when I'm standing in front of the bed, searching for my clothes, the man interrupts me.
"What are you doing, Sophia?" I hear Avan's smooth voice which isn't doing anything to hide his confusion and the underlying distaste about what I'm trying to do.
"I have to go. Home, you know?" I answer, a bit flustered because now is the worst time I want to think about my husband.
"Sit," he orders. I still. Then turn around to look at him.
"What?" I answer and my brows furrow.
"Sit down, Soph," he repeats himself, now sounding less commanding. It's softer now. "Please. Just five minutes."
I'm still a little confused but I must say I'm flattered he seems to want me to stay. I know I should be gone already, but five more minutes couldn't harm anyone, could they?
So I sit down and watch him get up himself, disappearing through the door. I hear water running and grow even more confused.
Right when I think he won't come back, he returns with a cloth in his hands. My brows furrow while my gaze switches from the cloth to Avan.
He comes closer, coming to a halt right in front of me. Obviously I'm not able to hide my utter confusion so he furrows his brows too.
"What-" I begin, not sure how to end the sentence without possibly embarassing myself.
"I'm just going to clean you up, Sophia." He says in his calm tone.
"Okay?" I answer, blinking. Actually this is the first time I heard those words from a man. I can- and I've always done it myself after all.
"You don't know what I'm doing," he states. Pity flashing over his expression. I don't like the expression and what it implies. None of it. I'm getting frustrated, feeling like everyone got a memo I missed.
"Well, no," I answer, my cheeks heating up.
"It's just aftercare. You don't have to be embarassed. Despite what your husband may have done or told you, it is normal and you shouldn't settle for any less." The spite he has against my husband becomes more than clear when he mentions him. I, on the other hand, don't know what to say. I only feel embarassment for not knowing and making a fool out of me.
I look to the side in hopes to escape his intense gaze. It isn't hard or judging- the opposite is the case- but it just feels like it will make me want to disappear on the spot from shame if I meet his eyes.
My chin is getting turned to him and lifted by his fingers. "May I?" He asked softly.
A few heartbeats pass before I nod lightly, hypnotized by his eyes.
He gets to his knees once again and I swear my already wobbly legs will never work again from the sight burning into my memory.
His hand softly strokes my knee, encouraging me to open my closed legs. Without thinking too much I part them.
Deeply focused on his task he starts to gently wipe me with the luke-warm, wet cloth.
My heart feels heavy and I wonder if that's what affection or respect looks like. It feels like it. It for sure does. A warm feeling spreads through my whole body, starting in my chest. And suddenly I get the deeper meaning of intimacy and it's worth.
•••••
It's late at night when I enter my home. The lights are off, not one noise making it's way through the house beside the clicking of my heels.
I put the key onto a board and search for the ones of my husband. Two times do I check through all of them before I'm sure it's not there.
He isn't here yet.
I let out a loud exhale, immensly relieved. Then I smile.
Memories of the last hours play in front of my eyes like a film and I can almost feel them too. His warm fingers, his soft lips, his deep voice vibrating through my whole being.
The fingers, which made me feel so good. His voice, which made me feel so special through his words and gentle tone. His lips, which kissed me goodbye and let my head spin.
Before I walk into my room I stop in front of the big mirror on one of the walls of the hallway. Eyeing my body, I recognize I'm not seeing myself through the eyes of an insecure girl anymore, I felt like a confident woman. I look at my face, my shoulders, arms, chest, waist, then hips, all the way down to my thighs and calves.
It isn't exactly Avan that changed all that. I think it was my new freedom and the regained power over myself.
The last thing I wanted right now, was to have another man in my life whom I'm dependent on.
Although this night gave me back a lot of my lost confidence, it doesn't magically change that my husband changed me in years of belittling me. It also doesn't change the fact that my partner of literal years cheated on me, hitting me where it hurts the most.
It was a start, a chance. Nothing more, nothing less.
I will take everything from him. The thing he loves most in this world besides himself. Money and power. I will take it all when he doesn't expect it. All with Gina's help.
Maybe Avan could be helpful, too... I just don't know how. Yet. I've got his number if I 'need anything', as he had said.
And then, right when he's lost everything, I will divorce him, making my revenge perfection. And I will leave it all behind.
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