Fill My Lungs | J. Todd ✔

[11] Almost Lovers

By the time Valerie came back to her apartment, Sarah wasn't there as she must have had a morning shift and left already. So she checked if her friend had left any note or message for her but didn't find anything.

Going to her room, she retrieved her phone that she had forgotten there last night as it wasn't charged. Checking it she saw that Sarah had called her a few times but then must have dropped it on realizing that her phone wasn't with her.

Valerie felt bad that she made her friend worry so much for her so she decided to tell her about the arrangement between her and Jason. She knew Sarah was going to disapprove but at least knowing where Valerie went would be better than her not knowing anything at all.

So she changed into her uniform after a quick shower, knowing that she had to leave for the supermarket too as her shift was about to start.

She reached the supermarket on time and took her place by the counter as her colleague was leaving. She had sent a text to Sarah that she was at the supermarket just so she wouldn't worry further.

The day passed as usual and by the time Valerie got free from her shift, the evening sky greeted her as she stepped outside. The weather was very similar to the day she had gone on the first date with Jason to that coffee shop and thinking about it sent a smile on her lips.

Would it really have been that different if she and Jason were dating instead of the friends-with-benefits situation they had? A fleeting thought crossed her mind but she brushed it off, climbing up the stairs that led to her apartment.

She rang the bell instead of using her key because she knew Sarah would be at home and shortly after the woman opened the door, her warm brown eyes meeting tired grey.

"Hi," Valerie spoke up but was surprised as Sarah took her into a tight hug.

Usually, Val was the one expressing affection but it seemed as if something had happened that made Sarah take the first step, holding onto her as if afraid to let go.

"Is everything okay?" Valerie asked, gently pulling apart, "did Marc say anything to you?"

"No..."

"Then?"

"It's fine," she shrugged it off but it made Valerie more curious, "you must be tired. Come in."

She noticed that Sarah had already ordered pizza for dinner and it seemed as if she was waiting for Valerie to come back so that they could have dinner together. 

"Wow, what's the special occasion?" She asked, turning to her friend who shrugged slightly.

"I just feel like we don't get to spend enough time together with our jobs and other stuff," Sarah replied, "so let's have a proper girl's night this once."

"Cool, give me just five minutes to freshen up, I am coming right over."

While she had gone to freshen up, Sarah was thinking about how to ask her about Jason. She didn't want that topic to cause a rift between them because it was more than clear from the way she had seen the two that they cared for each other and it wasn't just a meaningless fling going on between them.

But she was still very worried about her friend's safety because whenever Marc had told her about Jason, it was usually the aggressive stuff that had circulated rumors about him being dangerous.

She knew Valerie was a sweet little creature and she didn't want her to get trapped with someone dangerous who could end up hurting her beyond repair.

It had happened once before and Sarah didn't want her friend to get stuck in the same situation all over again.

"I'm back," Val announced, cheerfully sitting down on the couch close to Sarah, "and I am so hungry now."

"I know. I ordered your favorite flavor."

"You're the best!"

Neither Sarah nor Valerie brought Jason up as they finished the pizza together but after eating, Sarah spoke up, "remember, Val, we used to have sleepover parties?"

"Of course I remember. Those days were so fun," she replied, a nostalgic spark dancing in her grey eyes.

"And we used to stay up all night and tell each other every single thing about ourselves, no secrets."

"Yeah..."

"I feel like we don't do that anymore," Sarah sighed softly, turning to look at her, "and there are a lot of secrets between us now."

Valerie paused, knowing where that conversation was headed, "oh..."

"So I decided I should set this whole sleepover up and see if we can go back to being as close as we were in the past," she resumed, brown eyes soft and accusation free but it still made Val feel slightly bad about not telling her beforehand.

"Actually..." Valerie gave in as she spoke, "I wanted to tell you everything tonight. Regardless of all this arrangement."

"Okay... And is this about that Jason dude you are still seeing?"

Her cheeks shaded slightly and she looked away for a second but then nodded, "yeah. It's about Jason."

Sarah didn't interrupt, waiting for her to tell her like she had wanted to. Valerie also knew she had to get it done with so she told her friend the truth.

"Sarah, I am not dating Jason but I have been seeing him for quite some time now," she spoke up, watching her friend's expression closely, "he's really not as bad as you guys think and... And we're kinda close now. As friends."

"Friends?" Sarah raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"I mean... Friends who occasionally hook up," she bit her lip nervously as she said that, not sure of how Sarah would react to that.

There was silence as Sarah was processing her words and when she spoke up, she was shaking her head lightly, "Valerie, what the hell...?"

"I mean, what's wrong with that? I don't want to be committed and he doesn't either. It's a situation that works for both of us," Valerie explained, "and he's really nice you know. He might be scary to people who piss him off but in all the time I have been with him, he's just very sweet."

She took in a deep breath, thinking about how to make Valerie understand her perspective. She had seen both of them from the window that night and she knew there were feelings between them. Just hooking up occasionally and keeping their relationship nonserious would end up affecting them worse.

Plus Sarah was worried that her friend was a little too trustworthy. She didn't want her to be taken advantage of. And even if she didn't know Jason personally, she still felt the need to make sure that he wasn't the sort of person who would use Val and discard her later.

She didn't want to see Valerie get hurt again.

"Sarah, please, don't worry so much. I know this sounds weird but I'm fine with it and so is he. I promise I will never keep anything from you but in return, you have to stop worrying so much about me. Jay is not going to hurt me, I know that."

Sarah was a bit confused at the way Valerie was so chill with it and she asked, "what are you and Jason exactly?"

"We're almost lovers," she concluded with a soft smile, "almost because I think both of us aren't ready for a serious relationship right now but don't want what we have between us to end either."

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