Deviant Ardor

[o5 : The Other Side] redux

[Sardius city]

I leaned on the door in a desperate attempt to take in more of the sights of the city, as if I was seeing Sardius for the first time.

Somehow, everything looked brighter now, and more alive than any memory I had of the city before. I thought of all the times I'd come through the city with my mother for shopping, and social events. But, even those times, as fondly as I remembered them, didn't seem to shine in my mind as bright as the city shown to me now.

"Better than the countryside?"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Devilry is hardly the countryside. Not as big as Sardius, for sure, but, not countryside. But, I liked that, even from the Party at Puck's, I could still see the lights of the city while the air was still foggy from the rain. It was almost magical in its own sort of way."

He was quiet for a moment before speaking again.

"If I can ask? If your family isn't established here in Sardius, might I inquire as to where you were born and raised?"

Still drinking in the sights of the neon lights, I was grinning from ear to ear as I answered him. "Inclover." I couldn't hide the small bolster of pride that I felt as I said my cities name. "Both of my grandparents were curators. Though, I think my grandfather did excavations, too. But, my mother's always been a patron of the arts. She has an amazing eye for talent. And it's why she's known as well as she is as an Exhibition's Curator."

Still thinking, Elias's eyes lit up as something in his subconscious clicked. "Your mother – the woman I met... Sarafina St. James. I don't know why the name hadn't struck me until just now, but... Yes, I know her name well. Or, at least, I know of her. She's got quite the eye for art. Though, I'm surprised her face didn't strike me at all while we were speaking. I would have sworn..."

I grinned as I rolled my eyes. "My mother is careful about just how well her face is known. She likes keeping a level of anonymity about herself. It helps for when she's scouting. If they can't identify her by her face, then they tend to act more naturally when they're performing."

Elias smirked. "That's clever. But then, her reputation does precede her. She has a keen sense for beauty in all things. In her years, I've heard she's found many talented artists of every ilk: musicians, painters, dancers... I doubt that she's ever misjudged an investment. I must admit, you come from quite the stock."

My smile weakened then, and I shrugged. "I like to think so sometimes. And I know my mother's brilliant. She inspires me so much."

"And your thoughts of your father?"

I turned my attention back out the window, more than happy to blind myself with the lights. "I don't know. I mean, I don't even know the color of his eyes. But I would like to! Well, I mean, more than just his eye color, of course. But... honestly, it's the main reason I took off like I did." I frowned. "Aniyah was taking jabs at me again. Calling me 'the bastard of a whore.' And, even though I know she's not wrong, it still stings. It wasn't the first time she's thrown that at me, but... I don't know, this time was just different. I couldn't stand the thought of hearing it again. And it made me want to prove her wrong. I want to find my father and show her that he's more than just his job."

Elias listened as I spoke, taking in the melancholy undertone in my words. But he also watched me and my posture as it changed, becoming more sunken and deflated, the more I talked about my family. I was sure he could sense the defeat that I felt. Broken, as my hands fidgeted in my lap and the focus of my eyes dropped lower and lower as I went on. My soul felt heavy and worn down. And I felt tired, so very tired...

"No one is perfect," he said finally, his voice barely audible. "The personification of perfection is a myth and an impossibility. No one should ever be made to feel the need to strive for something that doesn't exist."