Deviant Ardor

[1o : What It Takes]

I watched Bunny meticulously scour through the different colors and styles of empty journals in search of the "perfect one." I rolled my eyes as she picked one up just to give it a quick glance, a flip through, just to return it to the shelf with an irritated suck of her teeth.

"What are you expecting?" I teased. "They're all the same."

Pulling herself upright, Bunny narrowed her eyes at me. "Excuse me?"

I laughed as I shrugged, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "What? It's just a journal, not an actual book. What does it matter what the inside looks like? Just pick one that's your favorite color and buy it!"

Bunny frowned at me, cocking her head to the side as she growled, "I should strike you."

I was still laughing as I leaned a shoulder against the bookshelf and Bunny returned to her search. "What?"

"Amateur!" she spat. "It has to pass the vibe check. It's not going to be just some journal. It's going to be more than that."

"Yeah? How so?"

"It has to be the perfect vessel to track my lessons in."

"Lessons?"

"Yes, my lessons from my liaisons." Bunny smiled with only half her mouth. "Each person I take to bed, or every encounter I have with Musa, I make a record of it. I write about how I felt in the moment, or how it changed from the beginning of the encounter to the end. I record how the client felt, things they said, and if they truly felt comforted or put at ease by the end of our encounter. And, whether they did or not, I take down the things I learned from the experience."

I thought on it for a moment, then frowned. "But why? What do you get from it?"

She smiled as she stopped her search again to face me. "I learn from everyone I'm with. Example: There was the one time when Musa had come home early from an evening out with a few friends. I didn't ask the gritty details of why their night had ended so soon, but I could tell it had upset her that things hadn't gone as planned. Even still, I ran a bath for her, and we talked while we soaked." She smirked. "I learned that night that she hates roses, but loves galaxy orchids."

"Galaxy orchids?"

"Yup!" Bunny's smile had softened as she recalled the detail. "So, of course, I took that down in my book – so I could remember. And now, if I find that she's in a particularly down mood, or feeling particularly poor, I bring her a galaxy orchid in some form or another. Her favorite is the candied petals of the flower."

"And that really works for you?"

"Of course! I also get to record moments that were...particularly special for me... Like, something that was said, or done in some way that made me feel special, and not like I was just doing a job. Significant moments, big or small. But, this way, I have them so I'll never lose them. So I'll never forget."

I watched as she picked up a journaling book of no particular color or size, and laid it in my hand. She turned away from me then, and moved further down the aisle to continue her search.

I turned the empty book over in my hand, giving it a better look. It was pink and covered in flowers, looking like pressed potpourri. I hated it, and scoffed as I returned it to the shelf as I unwittingly launched into my own search. I was surprised by just how many choices lay out before me, and even perplexed that I had to choose just one.

"Pass the 'vibe check,' huh?"

I reached for another one that caught my attention. When it caught the light just right, it was beautiful; a scene of mostly green, a mermaid deep in the water. There were pops of bright red-orange about the cover, coloring the mermaid's hair and the school of fish swimming below her. There were also bits and pieces that were lightly accented in gold.