𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏𝑫𝒖𝒔𝒕 (#1)

CHAPTER IV

The night has always been peaceful, when the whole world sleeps; few nocturnal individuals like me stay up late at night wondering about things that knocks the sleep out of their system way better than caffeine. Often times the haunting experiences of the past catches up to me in quieth of the night. It crawls up from the depth of my heart drowning me in the memories of Russia. It took me a lot of time to get used to this happy facade of an armor that I wear everyday to convince my parents and everyone around me to belive that I'm okay. If only they knew the darkness sleeping inside me frequently stirring awake nowadays only for me to force it back to sleep. I turned to my side the bright light of the bed side lamp glared at me and I welcome it with open arms to wash out all the darkness gathered inside of me. I hate darkness for it reminds me of the murk residing within me,
It promises to make me something that my current self will dread and fear. It frightens me to the point I refuse to turn off the lights when I go to sleep, I abhor the idea of staying home alone for I know if I'm left alone in the hands of those memories and the darkness lurking around a seal will be broken and I'll forver lose myself.
However those distasteful thoughts were the last thing in my mind today. The evercalling darkness seems to be receding to some dark cell of my body.
Laying wide awake in my bed staring at the celling that never seemed so interesting before today I thought about Love.

The word Love and it's tales have been critically acclaimed since the dawn of civilization. Some call it delusion some call it miracle. However it still lacks a proper definition. I wasn't really looking for the definition of love at 3:00 am which seems impossible. My mind was already preoccupied by Asher- a handsome man I have learned to call mine- to think about anything else.
An unintentional smile stretched my lips at the thought of him.
Asher.
Those ocean blue eyes of his holds so much love and warmth for me. I have noticed how he looks at me like I am a precious blessing he recieved after ages of praying. I also observed how his eyes turn cold, all the emotions disappearing as he looks at someone who isn't me. There is no doubt he loves me.
As for me I might be headstrong and dense but I am not ignorant.
The way I lose myself in those eyes, the irrational beating of my heart everytime he touches me and how I wish time stops at those moments when he makes me feels things I have only ever read.
I can't deny the warmth that throws my heart in a fancy uproar at the mention of his name. I still remember my crestfallen spirits when my eyes failed to catch a glimpse of him at the college charity gala last year and the way I grew a pair of imaginary wings when he arrived late at the venue due to some work.
I don't really have a chance to rebuke the truth that lies in front of me as bright as sun in the sky.

I love him.

But

There is a part of him shrouded in mystery - the side of him he keeps hidden from me.

A ding of my phone averted my attention towards the notification popping up in my lock screen.
It was remainder of my assignment submission on of 3rd may with happens to be tomorrow.