Two-Sided Coin

Chapter 5

The next few days were a blur.

I swam in and out of consciousness, answered question after question, changed rooms, saw doctors... It was overwhelming. Near the end of it all, yet another doctor came to see me. I had almost all of my physical health back and was sitting up on my bed, playing Go-Stop on my lap with Jungkook. I barely paid attention to him, just gave him a small nod in acknowledgement before putting down another card. He stood just inside the doorway, a clipboard in his hand, then cleared his throat.

"Mr. Kim Taehyung," he said in a low voice. That got my attention. He sounded so serious and anxious, I slowly put down my cards and looked at him with a small frown.

"Yes?"

"I don't know if you've been informed of this," he began carefully, flipping through his papers for a moment as if to stall, then directing his sharp gaze back at me. "But we're going to have to admit you to our mental ward."

Jungkook audibly gasped.

"Nonono, you don't understand," he started but was cut off by the doctor.

"I don't understand what, Mr. Jeon. Your friend attempted suicide and got himself into the hospital. That usually justifies an admission."

He pressed his lips into a fine line, tears springing up in the corners of his eyes.

"Please," he begged. "Let him go. I have this under control."

"I'm sorry, but why are you so insistent of your friend not getting the help he needs?" the doctor asked coldly.

"Because we don't have the money," Jungkook practically hissed back. I raised my eyebrows as this unfolded in front of me, unable to speak.

"We barely have enough for him to get his stomach pumped and even then we'd have to practically starve for the next few months," he continued in a harsh voice just above a whisper.

The doctor's face remained expressionless and he listened to Jungkook speak, then he shot me an accusing glare and sighed.

"Fine," he said in a clipped tone, picking up his clipboard and scratching out some writing. "We won't admit you if you so plead of us. But we will prescribe you to a medication to take twice a day. Got it?"

He didn't let us reply, just shoved a paper into Jungkook's hands and briskly left, mumbling under his breath.

We were both still as the door slammed and silence filled the room. Suddenly, Jungkook damn near growled, clenching his fists tightly around the note and staring at the door with eyes squinted from anger.

"Hey, calm down, Kookie," I tried, keeping my voice pleasant even though I was thoroughly shaken.

"How can I calm down? They're all such rich scum - looking down on anyone who's trying their hardest to make a put food on their plate and don't have enough left over for fancy treatments. It's insane. It's insulting. They're such....urgh!"

"It's fine, Kookie. Like you told him, we've got it under control," I reasoned, wanting for him to just sit down next to me and hold my hand. But of course life didn't want to go my way and instead and shook his head sharply, angrily smoothing out the prescription.

"I'll go pick this up," he mumbled, then stormed out, leaving me alone again.

I sighed heavily, lying back down. Why was this happening? What did I ever do to deserve this? All I wanted was to go curl up on my bed, preferably next to a certain someone so I wouldn't die of loneliness. There are very few things I want or need to live, so why can't I just have them and be at peace?

My pity party was interrupted by the same doctor walking in. I sat up and he walked purposefully up to me, then took my hand roughly and took out the IV. I winced at his harsh manner but didn't say anything.

"Get up," he ordered coldly, unplugging the various machines. "You're being discharged."

"What? Oh, okay," I stuttered, gathering the cards Jungkook brought and picking up my change of clothes. I scurried into the bathroom and put them on quickly, making sure not the look in the mirror. When I left, the doctor was already gone and I was alone.

Not sure what to do, I folded up the hospital gown and left it on the bed, then uncertainly made my way out into the hall, then towards the front desk. Nobody spoke to me or asked me anything, so I simply left. I knew the way home fairly well, and I was sure that they would tell Jungkook I went home if he went looking for me.

So I just walked down the dimly-lit road, my hands deep in the pockets of my over-sized hoodie. I looked slightly ridiculous in it; it was large to begin with, but with my overly thin frame it hung off of my shoulders like a clothing rack.

My hood was covering my whole face and I was thankful of that. I was in a familiar neighborhood and I didn't want anyone to recognize me, so I let it, along with my bangs, mask me from the world. It was chilly and I shivered, pulling the sweatshirt closer. I was almost there.

Finally, I arrived at my house. I fumbled for my keys for a good five minutes before pulling them out of my back pocket. The door slid open silently, unlike usual; I guess they had to repair after breaking it down.

As I made my way to the couch, I realized how serious our financial situation was. Jungkook and I both had two part-time jobs each, but we haven't had the time for more with high school. If we wanted to pay off my hospital bill and still live in relative comfort, we'd have to work longer hours and maybe in different places...

I should just quit school. Jungkook had worked too hard for his age anyway. Sure, he might be only one year younger than me, but still, he deserves graduation way more than me. Look at how much he'd suffered already. He shouldn't have to give up on his studies now. And what am I? I'm just a hopeless case. I'm pathetic. I'm lost. I'm insane. Might as well just forget a nice education and earn the money to make Jungkook's life a bit less tragic. It's the least I could do after all I've done.

So, it's decided: I'm quitting school. Should I call Jungkook first? No, he'd just selflessly oppose it. Because he's kind. He thinks 'everyone deserves a second chance.' That everyone can be changed. But life is not a bedtime story. The villain doesn't get a redemption. The villain works in return for the damage he's caused. The villain pays his dues.

That's what I need to do: pay my dues.

I jogged to my room and began searching through my drawer. After pushing aside a ton of trash, I found it - my wallet. It was old and worn, but it did it's job. I opened it and pulled out the small wad of cash inside. Three hundred twenty-seven thousand won. Wow. My life savings all in my hand.

Now time to pay my dues.