Two-Sided Coin

Chapter 19

Why couldn't life leave me alone? The moment something good happens to me, some screwed up God of Fate decided to remind me what a mess I was.

I had woken up happy and content with how things were going for me. That lasted about a forty seconds. Then I realized that not only was I not on the couch anymore, but my muscles were sore.

Fear grasping at my heart, I slowly sat up, looking around myself to see I was on the bathroom floor. The drawer that held the pills was opened and the contents were spilled around me. New patterns in the mirror showed signs of it being punched repeatedly. The toilet bowl was cracked and it was slowly dripping.

I sniffed, choking briefly as the inhale made liquids sputter into my windpipe. With one hand I brush my nose, finding it bloody. I also found that my knuckles were cut and scraped raw, but I quickly dismissed both revelations in light of more important matters.

"Kookie?" I called out tentatively, carefully getting up. No answer.

"Kookie?" I called again, my voice more urgent. What could have happened to him? Did I do something? Was he hurt? Or worse?

No, I couldn't let my mind wander. I just needed to focus on finding him. Everything will be fine then.

The floor was freezing cold under my bare feet as I stepped into the hallway, but I barely noticed. My heart was pounding out of my chest and my lungs struggled to keep up with it's fast beats. I looked both ways down the hallway, then decided to check where I last saw him: my room.

I ran downstairs, nearly falling as I rounded a corner, then burst into my room. It took only a moment for my wide eyes to lock onto the target and my knees buckled. Jungkook was on my bed, sprawled out on his back, the front of his shirt and knees of his jeans torn. His head was turned to the side and his hair was covering most of his face, but I could see red peeking out from under his bangs. His chest was rising and falling steadily though, which I took as a good sign; at least he was alive.

"Kookie..." I whispered, unable to speak louder. I got up shakily, my legs still weak, and stumbled over to him, dropping heavily down next to him. I gently brushed his hair to the side to assess the damage and took in a deep breath. I didn't know if anything was broken, but there sure was a lot of blood.

After a second, I stood and grabbed the first aid kit. Chewing my lower lip, I carefully wiped his face more-or-less clean, finding where the cuts were along the way. It hurt so much to see my beautiful, kind Jungkook in such a terrible condition, and even more since I was sure I'd caused it.

"I hate you, V," I mumbled through gritted teeth as I started applying ointments to his wounds. "You hurt my Kookie. That's a line you can't cross. I will find a way to eliminate you, even if it means you're taking me with you."

"Hyung?" Jungkook breathed, his lips barely moving.

"Kookie? Are you alright? I am so so sorry. I can't believe this happened. I'm so sorry," I started, cupping his cheek with my hand. His eyes opened a slit and he lazily raised his own hand to place on top of mine.

"I'm fine," he whispered, the corners of his lips twitching up into a half-smile. The back of my eyes prickled as tears threatened to form, but I swallowed them down and just stared down at him for a minute. I softly stroked his cheek with my thumb, marveling at how gorgeous he managed to look, even as beat up as he was. His unexplainable calmness and forgiveness made him almost glow with a certain beauty that few manage to achieve.

Eventually, his eyes fluttered shut. I took a shuddering breath, then pulled away my hand and resumed cleaning him up.

...

"Jungkook," I cooed his name, running my hand through his hair in an attempt to gently wake him up. All of his cuts were bandaged and his bruises were soothed, but guilt ate at my inside painfully.

But, at some point, my guilt had melded into anger at V. My mindset completely changed and I began thinking of him as a completely different person, regardless if we shared a body or not. As I sat there, gazing down at the breath-taking person before me, I suppose I realized that I would never do something like this to him if I was in my right mind.

"You're awake," I whispered as his eyes opened. He nodded slightly, a lazy smile still playing on his lips.

"Can I have some water?" he rasped, licking his lips. I got up immediately and fetched a glass. When I came back, he was seated with his back leaning against the wall.

"You have to rest well," I told him, placing the glass in his hands. He took it gratefully and drank it all, sighing contently when he was done. He didn't say anything more, just sat there with his hands in his lap, staring down at them blankly. I really didn't want to interrupt anything, but he looked so dejected and sad sitting like that. Gingerly, I placed my hands on top of his, lacing our fingers together. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but didn't pull away.

"What happened to you before you met me?" he suddenly asked, his voice timid yet determined, as if he was mulling over this for years. Which he probably was.

I couldn't help but stiffened as the question and my teeth clenched. I tried hard to forget those years. I had succeeded with one of them. My memories from age six to seven were erased somehow and I was hoping that I'd manage to do the same with the rest of them.

A cool hand touched my tense jaw and I was brought back from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry I asked," Jungkook mumbled, his slender fingers slowly making their way up to massage my temples. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I closed my eyes and nodded slightly, not yet ready to share. I wanted to just spill all of it, get the load off of my chest, but something was holding me back. I just couldn't.

Jungkook sighed and ran his hands through my hair, carefully pulling me closer until my head was resting on his chest. I let out a heavy breath and cuddled up next to him, my arms naturally finding their way around his waist. It was so familiar and relaxing, one of his hands resting at the crook of my neck and the other on my arm.

It was moments like these that made me happy to have someone like Jungkook. He was so selfless, so kind, so pure. He gave me so many chances, even after I did him wrong. He believed that I was good at heart and that every time I messed up it was some sort of misunderstanding or accident. He opened up to me rather quickly and let me care for him, even though I couldn't quite do the same.

"Kookie," I breathed, not opening my eyes or moving anything other than my lips. He hummed in acknowledgement, indicating for me to continue.

"Thank you, Kookie. For everything," I muttered, nuzzling closer. I couldn't see him, but I could imagine the way his lips would curl up into a smile and it made my heart flutter. His arms tightened around me and he started tracing circle on the side of my neck absently. I shivered from the soft, feather-like touch, but found it very pleasant. I didn't want for this contact to break, and it didn't seem like he did either.

...

We didn't move away from each other for a very long time. I didn't keep track, but it must have been around two hours before he began to peel himself away from me. At first, I protested, but eventually gave up and rolled over to the side, giving him room to stand. He patted my knee as he got up and stretched, then groaned in pain and sat back down.

I sat up immediately and crawled over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" I asked, earning a nod and weak smile in response.

"I'm fine," he insisted, then cleared his throat and stood again. This time, he kept a hand on his stomach as he walked out, presumably to the kitchen. I sighed, stretched, and followed after him, hoping that the rest of the day would be better than the morning.