Destroy It All

Back the F*** Up

Alex

 I looked at Papà as he tried to fix his hair, it wasn't going so well, usually Maggie the 'maid' helped him, she wasn't really a maid she was more like a mother, but being a half good person Papà had given her a three week leave, she and Papà raised me- together. 

I loved her.

"Papà, let me help you." I walk over and take over and finish it for him, thank you Alex. "Where are you going tonight?" I ask. "Can I come?"

"You already know the answer to both of those questions, darling." 

"Yes?"

"No." he opens his closet and pulls out a tux, "How do I look?" he asks.

"Like a real mobster, papà." I sigh sitting on his bed, he turns around and walks over and takes a seat next to me, "It's not fair."

"It is."

"I want to be able to live my life, is that to much to ask? I want to be your daughter," 

"Alex, darling you are my daughter," he kisses my forehead, "I know how much living in the shadow hurts you but I rather hurt you than lose you, Va bene?" (okay) 

"I know." I lay my head on his shoulder, "How old is Roberto, again?"

"Sixty-two." he laughs, I've been asking that a lot.

"And we can't just kill him?" I ask

"No, if we did, we'd start a war." he offers me his hand, I take it, "I want you to know that I never wanted this life for you, I'm sorry."

"I don't blame you, and just so you know I like this life, I like our life." I smile, "well," I say as I lean up and look at him, "Wherever you are going, you will look very bello!" (handsome)

"Thank you, darling." he looks at his watch, "I have to go, I can't be late." 

"Can at least walk you out?" he nods as I take his arm and we walk downstairs and out the door towards the car, I stop and kiss his cheek, "Goodnight, Papà."

"Goodnight, Alex." and he hops in the car, on of his bodyguards shut the door for him, turning around I start walking back towards the house, when I hear the car doors open, I look behind me and Papà is standing outside the car, one of his men is yelling.

"Sir, we don't know what-" his body pushing papà away from the car. what is going on?  I start walking back towards then.

"Alex, back the fuck up!" Papà shouts.

And right before my eyes the car blew up, everything slowed down, the first thing I could see was the sky, the ringing in my ears was the worst part, it was so loud. that's all I was thinking about, how loud it was. Using my elbows I push myself up my vision was bury, I tried to look around but I couldn't see, everything was spinning around, I felt rain, it wasn't raining, was it? I don't remember, how can I not remember? I see people running around, I can kinda hear screaming and shouting, but what are they saying? pushing myself up higher I can see the car it's on fire, that's when it hit me.

Papà!

I tried to stand but I couldn't something is wrong, why can't I stand the fuck up? I feel the rain again, lifting my hand to wipe away to rain from my face, bringing my hand back down, blood my hand was covered in blood, was I bleeding? touching my head again, why can't I feel where the blood is coming from? a big wave came over me the ringing got louder and the world went dark.

Papà?