Destroy It All

Mood Swings

Alex

I sat down next to my best friend and her boyfriend, she was painting my toe nails, and i let her because no one will see them anyway, when I put my book down I noticed the color black?  that couldn't be right, why would she pick black, i told her to do whatever she wanted.

"Evie, what the fuck?" I throw my book at her, and ripping my feet away from her, she leans back letting the book fly past her and into, Gabriel.

They both glare at me.

"Fuck you! Alex, I mean it," Gabriel flips me off, as he hands the book to Evie who sets it down, "I hate you,"  and he with that he leave us.

"Really? why! do you have to piss him off everyday?" she asks, closing the nail polish and looking up at me.

"I meant to hit you," I look at my toes, I like them. "Why black? i told you to do whatever you wanted."

"I did it because it matches your dark, dark soul!" I roll my eyes, throwing my arm around her pulling her close to me as I stick my legs out and we look at them together, "I'll add som white if you promise to tell Gabe that you're sorry for throwing that big ass book at him."

"Deal." I smile and kick my feet back up for her and reach for my book, but she slaps my hand away.

"No! you have been a bad girl." she gets out the white nail polish and starts to shake it against her palm. "What type of design do you want?"

"Uh, maybe a smiley face?" I say.

"Okay." she starts doing it on my big toe, "What's gotten you in such a good mood?"

"What do you mean? i'm not in a good mood." 

"Yeah you are." 

"It's just that, um, it's kinda stupid."

"More stupid than me and Gabe being together?"

"You make it sound like you and Gabe are a bad thing!" i laugh, Evie was right i was in a good mood, "I think papà might finally tell people about me, and then maybe at the ball i will be able to be his daughter and not just a member of his Mafia."

"What makes you think that?" she asks, finishing the left foot and moving to the right.

"It's just a feeling, it's stupid right? I mean I've been a secret for freaking nineteen years why would this year be any different?"

"Alex, it's not stupid," I feel a but coming, "But-" there it IS "Have you ever asked him why? maybe there's a good reason." of course i have, and he had told me.

I was born a girl not a boy, and for that I was destined for death.

Looking at Evie, we've never talked about it because I didn't want to know if she knew and if she did could I forgive her for not telling me? at first I was angry at everyone, they were all apart of it every last one, they had to be, when papà had told me about how if Roberto ever found out he'd kill me and maybe kill papà for lying to him, when I was growing up I was had always wondered why I didn't have any other family besides papà and his Mafia, he told me that mama died during labor and that was it, after I forgave Papà he told me I must remain in the dark about a lot.

"Yeah," is the only words I can find, I see Bucky come in, I jump up "Bucky! come here bud." his head spins around as he starts running towards me, he tackles me to the ground covering me in his dog saliva.