Struggle | H.S | AU |

Forty Nine|

The next day we had to say goodbye to Zayn. We kept it small so that we didn't risk anyone else. It was a beautiful day and we made sure that the casket was how he wanted it. I know that sounds really morbid but he was an artist so we called one of his mates who made sure everything was the way he would've wanted it.

Harry made sure there was enough security as we couldn't do it ourselves it didn't stop me from bringing a gun though. I had one in my purse, Harry and the other guys didn't know this, which was better. They would've killed me if they knew but there was no way I was putting my life into other people hands. What did surprise me was how big Harry's gang actually was. I always thought that it was just him, Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn but there were at least 50 people on this funeral, some of them were our eyes and ears and some were here to pay their respects.

We walked over to the spot were he would be buried and I noticed that Louis was the one who couldn't quite grasp the fact that his best friend wasn't around anymore. I felt sorry for him but I also still felt so quilty. I felt so guilty that I started to study whatever I could to prevent someone else from dying. "Anna, are you okay?" Harry had put his hand on my shoulder, which startled me a bit. "Yes I'm fine." I said it way too fast and Harry did notice that but he led it slide for some reason. "How are you holding up?" He shrugged and when I looked at him I recognized his expression immediately. He was angry, way too angry and I didn't like it because that meant that someone was going to get hurt and in my experience with him, that person was me most of the time. I had to put some space between us before he could do anything.

It was such a strange feeling because even though I love him, I'm still afraid of him and I really don't want to piss him off. I mean lately he's been all nice and loving, coming to my rescue but that is a side he doesn't show often. 'Anna, will you please keep up?" Again I had wondered off a little so I quickened my step and stood next to Harry when we said our final goodbye. We didn't cry, not one single tear. I wanted to but something in Harry's eyes told me it was better if I kept the sadness inside. Nobody could see our pain because we would show weakness amongst our people.

The service was over, the only thing we had to do was throw a yellow rose on his casket. Harry was first, I went second not knowing what that meant but I saw the respect in the eyes of the others, which was weird. "Harry, why are they looking at me like that?" I whispered, he didn't turn around though as he answered. "You're mine, so they have to show their respects and they know that if they hurt you in any way they are dead." I swallowed as I suddenly felt nauseas. I didn't want that. "Is that really necessary?" I know I was getting on his nerves as he was clenching his fists. "It is." He hissed through clenched teeth and that made me shut my mouth for the remaining day, only making small talk with a few people.

I did keep my eyes on Harry just to see if he was okay. "Anna?" I turned around and was surprised to see my music teacher standing in the living room. "Mr Murs? What are you doing here?" He chuckled sadly at that. "Anna dear, I'm just as much a part of this gang as you are." This surprised me because he didn't look like he would be part of a gang, he was just to nice. "But you are a teacher, how is this even possible?" He nodded to Harry "He persuaded me to join, after Bradley's gang had murdered my wife and I can tell you that I took great pleasure in killing the person who was responsible for that." He smiled sinister and I immediately took a few steps back.

He saw my move and composed himself. "Don't worry, I would never hurt you because I don't have a dead wish." He smiled at me as I let out a sigh. "How come you didn't stop me when you saw me interacting with Bradley?" I was really curious about this because I know he had been watching me. "It wasn't my place, Harry only told me to keep an eye on you but not to interfere with your life." He shrugged. "Of course he did, well even if I had just one class from you, I do miss it. I really wish that I could go back to college." I know I shouldn't complain but I still found it hard to get my head around all this.