Undying Devotion | Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 24

Y/N's Perspective

It has been a week since Sebastian Sallow and I have talked in private. We have spoken to each other indirectly when our friends are all together, but I find it increasingly more difficult each time. I find it hard to pretend like my heart does not break each time I hear his warm low voice. The same voice that makes my knees buckle and butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I want to be mad at him, but his presence makes it so hard. Someone who provided me with so much comfort and happiness, is now the source of the battle going on in my brain. He mentioned that he didn't disappear on purpose and there was a reason for why I did not see him over the summer, but he never offered an explanation.

I knew going into my first week of classes, that Sebastian Sallow was going to consume my thoughts once again, but it is not the same as last time. This time my thoughts will be filled with concern and sadness wondering what I did to push him away from me.

I go to my first class of the day, Advanced Potions. I get there early to send some time catching up with Professor Sharp before class starts. The professors have been paying extra close attention to me because they must be worried I will have some ancient magic break down and destroy the castle. I have not been back to the castle since Fig died, so their worry comes with reason but it saddens me that they feel I need to suppress my feelings because of my magic.

I walk into Sharp's room and he lifts his head up and greets me with a subtle but soft smile. "Ah - Y/n! Just the young woman I wanted to see. I want to-"

I immediately cut him off. "Professor please! I am fine. I have not thought about Fig since I got here. I am not going to have a melt down and blow up the castle. I wish people would stop bringing it up like I am some kind of monster!" I let out.

Sharp walks over to me and gently places his hand on my shoulder. "Y/n, that is not what I was going to say. I was going to suggest we go to Gladrags soon so I can get you a new robe, yours is looking a little tattered." He pulls me in his arms to hug me. His hand slowly strokes my back to calm me. "You are not a monster. You are brave and I know Fig was very proud of you. Hell, I am proud of you. I do not want you to feel like you have to suppress your feelings. I am always here for you and I am always happy to listen."

I pull my face off from his shoulder and wipe away a few stray tears. He releases me and takes a step back to look at me, his gaze is sympathetic and understanding. "Thank you Professor Sharp" I respond quietly.

"Of course. I would like to talk to you about a few things though. I promise I will keep it light. I am just a little worried. I noticed the days leading up to class, you and Sebastian have barely acknowledged each other, which is bizarre because you two were so close. I do not want you to isolate the people who care about you Y/n. I can see in his eyes, he wants to talk to you."

"There is more to it than you think. It is not that simple, you wouldn't understand."

Sharp walks back to his chair and chuckles as he sits back down. "Oh yeah? Well we have time, make me understand."

How do I explain this to Sharp without exposing my feelings and Sebastian's actions. I do not want to confess what feels like my unrequited love for Sebastian and I do not want to slip out that Sebastian killed his uncle and I kept him out of Azkaban. I know he is expecting some trivial teenager shit, but he should know with me that it rarely is trivial.