Nine Shillings

Time to Scrub Up

London - 1842

I stopped at the top of the steps to Josef's house and rang the bell. The curtains were closed but I could hear him inside. My magically enhanced hearing wasn't as accurate as Bran and Josef's yet but I didn't think I could hear anyone else in there.

Josef opened the door. He had his shirt sleeves rolled up, most of his buttons were unfastened, and his waistcoat looked like it had been tugged on as a second thought, not a single button fastened. Even his hair and beard were tousled.

I put my hands on my hips and sighed. 'Where is everyone?'

'I paid them to take a holiday,' he said, flatly. He turned round and headed towards the sitting room.

I shut and locked the door then followed him. He'd flopped face down on the couch and had a bottle of rum on the floor beside him.

All the curtains were closed and it was already starting to smell musty.

'What are you doing here?' he mumbled.

'I want your help looking at the scene of a crime, then I'm going to take you home.' I threw open the curtains.

He hissed against the sun burst of sunlight and raised his hand against it.

'I thought vampires weren't vulnerable to sunlight,' I said.

'We're not, usually.'

I picked up an empty bottle and sniffed it. Sharp alcohol hit the back of my nose and I coughed, that was strong. 'Why do you and Bran always drink too much when you're down? Neither of you can get drunk.'

'Habits from being human, I suppose,' he murmured, sounding very sorry for himself.

I slapped his backside. 'Shift out the way.'

He frowned over his shoulder at me. 'Did you just slap my bum?'

'Yes.' I did it again. 'Shift.'

He grumbled, but it didn't hide his amusement, and pushed himself up to sit with his bottle of rum in his hand.

I sat down beside him. 'How did you two sort this stuff out before you had me to slap your arse?'

He chuckled faintly. 'Sometimes we'd avoid each other for years then get back together like nothing happened and...' He slid me a look and took a gulp from his bottle.

I propped my elbow on the back of the couch and my chin on my hand. 'How coy of you, My Lord.'

He chuckled, took a gulp of rum, and offered me the bottle.

I took it. 'I don't think that's going to work when we have children.'

He exhaled. 'I miss them.'

'They miss you too.' I took a swig of rum then doubled over coughing.

Josef rubbed my back. 'Still getting used to the senses?'

I handed him the bottle and croaked, 'That's strong.'

He looked at it. 'I thought it was alright.'

I took a breath and straightened.

'It's been in the cellar a while though.' He took a sip and considered it but it didn't seem to bother him, perhaps an advantage of having been a vampire so long. He smiled, slightly. 'You can slap my backside any time.'

I laughed then sobered. 'You're miserable. Bran's miserable. The children want their daddy.' I offered him my hand and lay the back of it against his knee. 'It's time to come home, Josef. We'll sort this out.'

He stared at my hand a moment then lay his in it and linked out fingers. His hand was warm, and strong, and callused. Same as mine but a bit bigger.

I squeezed his hand. 'You stink like a brewery. I'm going to draw you a bath and you can pick out something nice to wear.'

He smiled, genuinely this time. 'Make myself pretty for you?'

'You should. I've never seen you in such a state.' I ran my fingers through his hair and they snagged in tangles. 'Have you even brushed your hair?'

'I can't remember.' He rubbed his beard, as he often did when he was thinking. 'I don't think so.'

I shook my head. 'What am I going to do with the pair of you?'

He gave me a suggestive look.

'Don't be giving me looks like that when you haven't even washed your balls.' I took a deep breath. 'Maybe I'll take you home first.'

He kissed my hand. 'I'd like that.'