Nine Shillings

Complications

London - 1842

Mary and Merry were playing with Veronica, pushing the brightly coloured wooden trains around a town made of book buildings. Veronica had joined Mary in making train noises, 'chugga-chugga, poop-poop', while I knitted Mary a new yellow blanket to replace one that had fallen apart. Blankets were multipurpose toys; capes, tents, and magic carpets were favourites, it had been patched and re-patched until a loose thread caught a twig and it finally unravelled.

Edward fidgeted on Josef's lap and elbowed his stomach like he was a bothersome pillow.

I stopped knitting and leaned towards him. 'Maybe we should put you to bed.'

'Noooo,' Edward whined, trying to burrow deeper into Josef's chest. 'Not sleepy.'

'You look a little sleepy,' I whispered.

'Want cuddle.'

That was sneaky, no-one could argue with him wanting a cuddle before bed, even if he kept falling asleep and dribbling on Josef.

'You're fine right here, aren't you, little fella?' Josef kissed the top of his head.

'Um-hm,' Edward mumbled sleepily and buried his face in Josef's arm. 'Snuggly.'

Bran came in, still wearing his hat and greatcoat, and filled the doorway as if he was about to deliver an ominous message in a gothic novel.

'Pappy's home!' Mary bounced up and ran to him.

He swept her up. 'There's my tiny terror.'

'I was goin' tell Mummy to go find you,' she said. 'I thought you gotted lost, or capture by pirates, or... or... you went to slay a dragon to get a pretty for Mummy.' She frowned. 'I want a dragon so's I can fly round an' save the day like Mummy. I don't want pretties though, Merry and Miss Ronni can have them.'

I checked Josef's watch, it was only six o'clock.

'Those sound like exciting adventures,' Bran said. 'But I had a lot of people to talk to.'

'Poor Pappy.' Mary patted his face. 'Mummy says people are 'noying.' She frowned for a moment. 'She's right.'

'Keep saying Rawr's a dog.' Edward held his wooden wolf tighter. 'People silly. Don't like 'em.'

Mary took Bran's hat off his head and put it on hers, it fell down over her face. 'You got a big head, Pappy. You must be really clever.'

'I only have a small head. Does that mean I'm not clever?' I asked.

Mary lifted the hat so she could peek out. 'Girls are cleverer than boys, everyone knows that. It's why Mummy's in charge, 'cause she's cleverest of all.'

Bran and Josef looked at each other and shrugged. I smiled.

'I'd better go and take my boots off or Auntie Lia will tell me off,' Bran said.

'You missed us and needed cuddle.' She squeezed his neck. 'She can't be mad.'

'I did.' He hugged her back then put her down. 'I'll be back to play trains in a minute.'

'You'd better or I'll make Mummy tell you off.' Mary went back to her train still wearing Bran's hat, it was so battered it wouldn't matter what she did to it.

Bran went back out into the hallway; I tucked my knitting into the basket and followed him.

'I didn't find anything.' Bran hung up his coat. 'None of Merryborn's circle seem to know our mystery woman but I doubt they'd remember her if they did. How about you?'

'I got angry at Elizabeth, almost zapped a roomful of people, and told Josef I want to ride him like Saint George,' I said. 'Interesting day overall.'

He paused, hands still on his coat on the stand. He glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled stiffly. 'Sounds like a busy day.'

I rested my hands on his hips, pressed my face to his back, and inhaled the scent of him, warm whiskey, old books, and rain. He was tense.

'I will never give you up. I'll tear apart anyone who tries to take you from me.'

His smile relaxed.

'You're my chuckaboo,' I whispered.

'I always get stuck on why you won't leave.' He sighed and rubbed his face. 'It feels like Josef is better than me.'

'Because?'

'He's charismatic, charming, good looking –'

'He's a noodle with a tendency to be ridiculous, I have to give you the good looking bit though.' I slipped my hands down and squeezed his arse. 'But you're exquisite yourself.'

He leaned over, rested his hands against the hall table, and pressed towards me. 'I'm being ridiculous.'

I slid my hands down his arms and linked our fingers. 'Chuckaboo, we can't always see the deepest scars, it doesn't make them any less real.'

He swallowed.

'Pappy!' Mary stomped out of the library.

I stepped away.

'You're s'posed to come play but you're not. You promised.'

I crouched down beside her. 'Your pappy will play in a minute.'

'He said a minute and it's been lots an' lots of minutes.' She stamped her foot.

'I'll come play while Pappy takes his boots off.'

She cheered and hurried off to get my train out of the toy box. As a child I never had toys; now I was an adult Mary reckoned I needed one of everything to play 'properly'.

'We're never mentioning minutes again. Minutes no longer exist.' I turned back to Bran and touched a button on his trousers. 'Later.'

He exhaled as if he'd beat me to it.

I grinned and gave him a quick kiss. 'It'll work out, Bran. We can take our time, we have plenty.'

He didn't look convinced; once the voice in his head got to nagging at him, he rarely did.

I kissed him. 'I promise. And I always keep my promises.'