Careful what you wish for

do i really want this?

Noah's pov:

"nowah-" I hear a small voice in the dark. It was Willow.  the little girl was crying as if she were scared or upset.
"Hey,what's wrong sweet girl?"I ask in a lighter voice. I see her  silhouette through the light coming  in the window from the passing cars and street lamps.
"I- ha-Ad a Ba-AD drEAm." She whines. I smile and pick the girl up into my lap.
"You know what I do when I have a bad dream?" I poke her stomach. The mood changed;
"What is it Noah" she asks.
"I go to the kitchen and eat an egg sandwich. My momma used to make them for me when I was little, like you Willow" I smile.
"come on. I'll carry you." I wiggle out of the bed with Willow, attempting not to wake Lillian. since the day I met Willow grace, she has clung onto me. sometimes it scares me, I never wanted kids at all until I met this beautiful dark haired little girl.
I made it down the stairs and into the kitchen carrying Willow the whole way.
"in the chair or on the counter, princess ?" I ask in a terrible British accent. She laughs and points to the counter. "Okay, do you want to help me crack the eggs?"
Willow  nodded as I got three eggs out of the fridge.
she got enjoyment out of cracking eggs, it made my heart happy to see her smile. she was just like Lillian. Down to the way she snores when she sleeps.
They both had that radke laugh and I found comfort in it.
I hope that one day I'd get to talk to Ronnie and ask him if I could marry lil.
"Noah, do you love Lilly?" she asked in a low tone.
"Of course, I love her. I love YOU too miss Willow." I smile funny making her giggle.
"Why do you ask , princess?" I put the eggs onto a plate.
"my bad dream, you didn't love Lilly anymore so, I didn't get to see you again." She frowned.
I dropped the spatula into the sink and hugged her immediately, brushing the hair from her face.
"Willow, that's never gonna happen. I'll always love Lilly. I'll always love you, goofy girl." I poke her nose with my index finger.
"Promise?" She extends her pinky.
"I promise." I say wrapping my pinky around hers. I promise I'll always love you, sweet Willow.  "go on try it." I urge her to take the half sandwich slice off the plate.
she picked it up and inspected it before taking a big bite. She pauses before any words come out.
"you like it?" I ask.  A smile comes across her face, showing her missing front teeth.
"YES." she grins.
"Good, bad dream all gone?"  She shakes her head and yawns again.
I hear shuffling from the living room. Willow and I look into the low lit room to find Lillian tiptoeing down the stairs.
"You too , huh?" I ask.
"What?" She raises a brow. Walking toward the kitchen.
"Bad dream?" I hold Willow standing in the kitchen.
"Yeah, made my chest kinda hurt. I came down for something to drink. What's Willow doing up?" She asks.
"well," I chuckle, " she had a bad dream and woke me up so we came down and ate egg sandwiches."
She nods her head and gets a glass of water.
"You wanna put her back in bed?" Lillian asks.
"no, I'm gonna hold her for a little bit. there is something so calming about just having her head on my chest, ya know. Come'ere" I extend my arm , motioning for her to scoot closer. "Where do you stand with like having a family and kids Lilly? Like actually?"
I ask, not knowing the response I'd get.
"only with you." She answers in a low tone.
"what?" I look over to Lillian who had brought her knees to her chest.
"I only want to have a family with you, Noah. No one else." she shakes her head lightly.
"I would love that. interacting with your sister and Mia, nicks nieces and Aliyah's nephews has made me want kids for a while now." I laugh.
"Maybe. but , what about bad omens?" She asks.
"When the time comes for me to leave it all behind, I will." I sigh. "I would give up my life as the Noah Sebastian, for you, Lillian radke."
"but what if you could do both? My dad did it, I wouldn't want you to just leave the guys or the fans, for me." She paused "Did Willow tell you her bad dream?" Lillian lays her head on my shoulder.
"Yeah.. she had a dream that we didn't love each other anymore. I told her that would never happen." I run my fingers over her knuckles.
She blankly smiled. "What was your nightmare about?" I asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it right now. It still kinda has me shaken up." Lillian let out a sigh.
"Okay. You don't have to talk about it." I shrug. "I'm taking wills back up to bed. You comin?"
"Yeah, I'm  comin." She replies, following me up the stairs and into our bed room.
Lillian's pov:
I'd tell him eventually , but that wouldn't be any time soon.
I listened as Noah's and willows breathing synced into one slow breath.