Chapter Text
TAMAKI
Haruhi - now that you're a host, I've decided to make you my new project.
HARUHI
You really don't have to do that Sempai
TAMAKI
I know. That's what makes me so nice!
Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
(Takes Haruhi's glasses off)
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed You will be
Popular! You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to girls
Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular! I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a Daddy and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular - I know about popular!
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who-you-were-well are!
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popular - lar
La la, la la
We're gonna make
You pop-u-lar!
(Hikaru and Kaoru push Haruhi into the dressing room and hold up a school uniform)
"Here, put on this uniform!"
"What? But why?"
"Don't ask questions!"
(As Hikaru and Kaoru chant ("Change, change, change" Tamaki is still singing)
TAMAKI
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!
They were popular!
Please - It's all about popular! It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!
Why, Mr Honour Student, look at you.
You're handsome.
HARUHI
i...i have to go
TAMAKI
You're welcome
And though you protest
Your disinterest I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity -
Ah! La la la la
You'll be popular -
Just not quite as popular
As me!
YOU ARE READING
Succubus Ties #1 (Ouran High School Host Club)
FanfictionI wrote this ages ago. Athena Meyer is a Light Succubus. She moved to Japan to escape her past and psychotic fiancé who is an Incubus. After transferring into Ouran High School she accidentally stumbled into the host club where she later befriends...