Irresistible Love

38 | Frozen In Time

Nikolai's POV:

I was sat still in my plane seat as I couldn't help but lose focus as I stared out at the midnight sky, wondering what the hell Ellie must be thinking.

Knowing that I was flying away from her and not towards her sent an ache through my bones.

A pain that I never thought I would expirence and believe me, I have expirenced enough.

I was enraged with myself that I couldn't do more, and the fact that I may never see her face ever again.

I would never see that bright smile that would light up any room she was in, her goregous long brown hair that blew in the wind and smelt like fresh flowers, her eyes that would stare into your soul so deeply you couldn't help but get sucked up in them.

She made my life better. And even if it was a short time. I know that in these last 2 months, she has changed me and made me a better person by just being her.

It took everything inside of me to walk out of that hotel. It took everything I had not to scream her name as I walked down that hallway and beg her to choose me. It took everything I HAD to not be selfish and say, please, pick me. Pick me to love you forever, pick me to hold you when you're down, or even when you need me and I need you, choose me.

But I could never and would never make her choose between me and Anthony.

Anthony was her TWIN brother. Someone she litterally grew with in the womb.

And no matter what. I would never come between her and her family.

Just because mine was corrupt doesn't mean her's needed to be.

And as I sat here with my chin in my palm, as my finger tapping on the chair. I felt more anxiety begin to creep in my skin.

I regretted what we did. But only for the sake of not telling Anthony.

But did I regret the fact that I fell in love with Ellie?

Fuck no.

I would be a moron if I said yes. I regretted nothing when it came to me and Ellie and how deep my feelings were for her, and still are.

I just hope to everything, that someway, some how, I get to see those beautiful brown eyes again.

****

Ellie's POV:

A chill has been running through my body ever since I walked into my room.

And now, I am sitting here in the hotel's bath tub, numb as hell.

My body is still as my knees are pressed against my wet, naked chest.

My arms wrapped around my legs as I stared off into open air.

My mind on the other hand was racing with a million thoughts, and all were mainly about Nikolai.

Where he was. How he must be feeling. What he thinks about this whole situation.

He must be a mess. Just like I am.

I tried to call him at least 10 times, but his phone must either be dead or turned off because it's been sent straight to voice mail.

Anthony had been banging on my door for at least 5 minutes before Beverly came over and convinced him to give me my space.

She tried to stay out of the situation as best as she could which I respected, and honestly loved.

I felt horrible for keeping it a secret, and knew that eventually we would have to tell. But never in the world, did I think it would lead to THIS.

I now have no brother, and no Nikolai and I didn't even make the so-called choice that Anthony wanted me to make.

Fucking prick.

I was so pissed at him I could tear my hair out.

Did he have a reason to be mad? Yes, of course he did. We lied to him for 2 months and continued to deny our love for one another even after he integrated both of us.

But, I would have hoped he would have TRIED to see things in our perspective but instead he takes control over my life again and vanishes the only good thing I had going.

I have cried so much, that my cheeks and under eyes are swollen and honestly hurt.

My lips were dry as hell.

And my chest ached from the feeling of him being gone.

I needed him. I needed his arms wrapped around me. I needed him right now.

I could still feel his kiss on my forehead that he imprinted only a few hours ago.

It was around 3am, and I wasn't even tired one bit.

I had a feeling I wasn't going to sleep at all.

I have spent my life always wanting someone to marry and to father my children, but I never actually thought that wanting those things and then finally finding someone you love would come with a cost.

It came with pain, and suffering, and motherfucking brother who thinks they are the parent and can tell you what to do.

God.

Anthony was just like our father apparently.

I mean, that's what mother always used to say.

He was stubborn and could be so overprotective it was insane.

And I loved feeling secure and safe inside of my family. But I also wanted freedom. I wanted the freedom to love who I desired. Even if that was found in Nikolai.

And I know I hurt him. I got with his best friend.

But if it was true love, and it STILL is. Then why can't he listen to me for once? And just understand this is what I truly wanted.

And all I HOPED for now. Was that some way, some how, I would get to see that sexy smirk one last time.