Push and Pull (Sirius Black X Reader)

1975: The Initiation

"You wouldn't believe it," James whispers enthusiastically across the breakfast table, a piece of toast forgotten in his hand. "The storm came and all of our potions turned red, so we all tried the spell together. It was insane. One second I was me, and the next—" He throws his arms out, a chunk of jam falling from his toast and plopping onto Peter's lap— "a stag."

"Yeah," Peter says and wipes some of the jam from his pants with a grimace, "and I was a rat! Everything looked so big! I saw Sirius as a dog and thought he was going to eat me before I remembered we were both humans. It was strange to have a rat's brain for a period of time. Very strange." Peter's face shifts, becoming a picture of serene introspection. The complete opposite side of the coin, Sirius grins at the memory.

I nod and look over at Remus, who pushes his breakfast around his plate sullenly. "You okay, Rem?"

"Hm? Yeah," he says and shoots me a small smile. "Just thinking."

"What about?" James asks and takes a bite of his toast, using his free hand to scoot his glasses up his nose.

Remus doesn't say anything; he simply looks up at me through his eyelashes.

"You don't have to worry about any of us," I say. "The hard part is over now. And everything is about to get a lot better for you. I promise. You have to admit it's pretty impressive that some of the biggest dimwits in all of the United Kingdom managed to become animagi."

Remus snorts and sets down his fork. "I confess," he says slowly, "it was quite amazing to watch them complete their transformations. I wish..."

"What?" I ask.

"I wish I could have been there to see yours."

I blink. James and Peter look away pointedly. Sirius rolls his eyes.

"I just mean," Remus says and fixes the boys with a glare, "that I would have liked to see all of your transformations. It was fascinating to see what each of their forms were the moment they were decided."

"Yeah, of course," I say.

"I think...I think your animagus makes a lot of sense," Remus says quietly with a little shrug of his shoulders. "Sometimes you remind me of a cat."

"Is this you flirting?" Sirius asks from across the table. "Because it's pitiful."

"Oh, shove off," Remus mutters and flips Sirius off from across the table.

"Sunshine, do you see the way he treats me?" Sirius asks and drapes his upper half over the table, his eyes wide and pleading as his hands dangle off the edge of the table. But his smirk is still plastered onto his stupid face as his fingers brush against the sleeve of my sweater. I yank my arm away.

"I don't see anything you don't deserve," I snip and swat at his hand.

"Let's move on to the more pressing matter at hand," James says and sets his hand on Sirius' shoulder as Sirius drags himself upright, his eyes still on mine, flickering playfully. "Now that we're all...you-know-whats, we should all have nicknames like Moony. You know, like codenames."

Peter nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, I've always wanted a cool nickname."

"I was thinking, what about Prongs for me? Because of the antlers? And Sirius—"

"Merlin, you've put some thought into this, haven't you?" Sirius asks and chuckles.

"I was up all night," James admits. "I was thinking Wags. You know, because—"

"No, that's ridiculous," Sirius says and shoves James by the shoulder. "I'm not answering to Wags."

"It's short and catchy, and a dog's tail—"

"No, absolutely not!"

"I agree with Sirius," I say.

"Thank you—"

"It should be Alpha Canis Majoris. Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it, Peter?"

"Oh, well, sure, I suppose."

"No, Peter," Sirius says. "Don't agree with her. She's being facetious."

"That's a big word for you, Starboy. Plus, I'm not being facetious. Am I wrong, or is Sirius the brightest star in the sky?" I ask, mocking him.

"Let's call Y/N Forktongue because she's a snake," Sirius declares.

"You're just jealous that—"

"Wait, guys," Peter says suddenly. "What about Padfoot? Because dogs have foot pads that make them quieter. So it's like calling yourself stealthy."

"Fine," Sirius says. "Anything is better than fucking Wags."

Peter beams. "And I was thinking maybe I could be Nightprowler since rats are nocturnal."

James furrows his eyebrows. "No, that doesn't sound right. That makes you seem like something... more... you know."

"Yeah, what about Wormtail," Sirius suggests. "Because your tail looks like a worm." James nods along eagerly.

Peter deflates a little. "Oh, all right," he mumbles. "I suppose that should do fine."

"And now, what about you?" James asks, and all four boys turn to look at me in unison. I can't stop my eyes from widening. For some reason, this feels like an initiation. Like everything up until this point, even becoming an animagus, was something else entirely. Like I was one of them but I wasn't. But getting this nickname...

"Springpaw," Remus mutters, his first say in the conversation.

"Yeah, Springpaw," Sirius agrees, uncharacteristically solemn. James and Peter nod along.

This just might be something bigger.