Nat being Nat

numb

my dear old friend
it has been such a long, long time
since you've last came
and left me to die

your gentle, silk-like touch
is scorched in my mind
my heart is wounded
by the marks you've left behind

you seeped into my heart
and stole my soul
the numbness was comforting
yet I was never whole

I wandered through life
and crowds without a say
seeming like I was there
when I was far, far away

I was one with the shadows
drifting by without control
watching my life wither away
without ever having a goal

I noticed in others' eyes
there was this lively thing
and whenever they laughed or wept
it would start sparkling

glancing into the mirror
all I could see
was a pair of lifeless eyes
staring back at me

I tried everything I could
to make this 'thing' appear
but to my disappointment
my eyes were still so queer

i finally realized
that all these years
I was dead inside
I was not at all fierce

my dear old friend
return what you have stolen
the 'thing' that's in your hands
is what makes me human

-
I regret switching off my emotions
2 June 2015