Darkness

Chapter 15

*lilly*
We were looking through pictures, whether they were from facebook, random ones on tumblr, instagram, even Twitter and they weren't just of me, they were of the boys and their life and what I would have seen of them but I wondered. If we were so close why was I never with them, even when they were in London?

I was begging to gather that this was all a lie, no memories were coming back and I needed to do this myself.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back" I said when it all was too much. I jogged up to my room and shut the door, I grabbed a coat, my wallet, and my phone and headphones before jumping out my window and climbing down my rooftop to the near by ground. I stopped in my lawn ducked down and thought of where to go. I walked down an old, slightly grown in path in the forests around the back.

I plugged in my phone and turned on whatever came up first. I looked up as I walked the path that seemed like something I had done before. I breathed in and looked up taking in how the trees intertwined and had a flash. A fleeting memory of me and a small Harry running through these parts on a sunny day, I was chasing him and I remember complaining about how he was older and bigger. I was always so small and he was always so tall. My hair whipped around my face and I decided to pretend that I hurt my ankle and then tag him, while doing so he claimed that I cheated but he still chased me, Harry always enjoyed a chase.

My mind wanted me to remember something. I needed to think, something was coming back.

It was year 9 or 10 and Harry was in the halls at school. He had just said hi to me from across the hall, beginning to walk he saw another girl, and just like that he left and the chase had begun for him. This was what Harry enjoyed and I remember the slight heartbreak that I kept hidden with every conquest. A lump formed in my throat at the realization that no, Harry had not loved me, even then when we were so close.

I bowed my head and let a tear drop and walked along. The long trail ended in the middle of a field. I sat in the tall grass and daisies and lied back. I checked the time and realized it was 4 In the afternoon, I sat and listened to the music and the thoughts from my past I remember nothing recently but so much from before Harry left. The few spats we had and shopping and a coffee shop that rang in quite a few amazing piles of memories. Harry worked there behind the counter and sold these amazing chocolate cupcakes.

..... Then it came.

The memories from now, so strong and vibrant. I couldn't remember what we were doing in London but I remember the café, and the ring I heard before I saw him and the shock before he saw me. I didn't even gasp and feel the shock of knowing that as it came as no surprise, it was something I had been expecting, I was just waiting for the memory to seep back.

I sat and let weak yet angry tears slip from my eyes with muffled sobs shaking my shoulders. I turned on my side and held my body in the embrace that should have been Harry's.

He hurt me so much, yet I wish I could feel his heart beat with mine.

*harry*

It had been about 15 minutes since Lilly went upstairs and I was starting to get worried.

"Hey I'm going to go check on her" I said as I ran up the stairs 2 at a time. I learned on her door listening.

Silent

"Hey lilly you ok?" I said as I knocked on the door. I listened again.

Silent

"What the hell?" I whispered as I opened the door. I looked in, her room was empty, panic filled me. "Lilly!" I yelled into the empty space to be met with an echo. "She's gone!" I yelled loudly so they could hear downstairs. a communal "what!?" Was heard before stomps clattered around the house.

We sat checking her room as we waited for the cops to come.

Headphones- gone
Backpack- not gone, she wasn't running
Phone- gone
Jacket-gone
Wallet-gone

Was she at the café?

"Niall, Louis- go to the café where I used to work, walk there and use the back way incase you run into her" without another word they were gone.

"Liam, zayn- stay here incase she comes back or calls and for the police." They nodded and I grabbed my coat.

"Wait where are you going?" Yelled Louis.

"I'll be back." I said ignoring the question and running into the forest. It was already getting dark it being fall now and chills ran all over my body as I ran in the cold wind. I ran down the winding path we followed as children and soon came to the field. Out of breath, I walked, panting with cold sweat running down my hair line and burning in my lungs. I followed the recent steps and soon found her sleeping body. I took out my phone and texted everyone that I had found her before I really looked at her, turned on her side I could still see the redness around her eyes and wetness of tears.

I sat and stared at her beautiful rested face and hoped she didn't remember, I hoped she didn't feel that pain I had caused.

I carried her like a child for the mile walk before I finally reached her door, opening it, everyone looked at her but nobody spoke. Surely they saw the tears and the look of defeat on my face. All we could do was wait.