Darkness

chapter 12

it had been a week since i woke up and i have to admit it has been a very strange one. i have been able to re-meet all of the boys and my friend Anna, they are all really cool and i have to admit, i feel terrible that i forgot them. i have lost the last 10 years of my memory and it is so strange to have forgotten that much, to have it taken away in seconds though it took so long to build up. i lost half of my life's memories and am left with a scar on my scalp to prove it. just why me?

it was nice to hear old stories about myself and how Anna and i had met over the internet when the boys were in the X-Factor. it was all so amazing to hear their crazy adventures and how harry and i were so close knit through all of it. harry is so good to me, i can see how i let myself fall for him. i may not have wanted to admit the feelings i had for him as a child, but feeling them now? i knew i had fallen for him all along. i just didn't know how i would tell him? would i tell him? how should i know, i have most of the brain of a seven year old! and he would never go for someone like me. it is severely disappointing to wake up a teenager after dreaming when you are younger that when you are older you would be graceful, beautiful and talented, to be disappointed in yourself.

it was about 6:00 am and i was finally able to leave the hospital and see my mom back home, she had not been able to see me since i was awake because she was busy with work. i wish she would have came but since i am going to be seeing her in a matter of hours it doesn't seem to matter to me as much as it should. i was packing all of my things back into my luggage that was meant for me to have only for a couple days but ended up being for a couple weeks. i had put my final item of clothing in when i looked around the empty room in search of any thing i would need back home. i had found the flash cards that my doctor made me to bring back my memories. he said that if i am told more stories and go back to routine it will return but it will forever be fuzzy to me and may have quite a few blank spots that may be filled over a long stretch of time, he said up to 5 years but my recent memory should fill in within a month.

i picked up a few small things and put them in my bag just before i saw Zayn at the door.

"you ready to go?" he asked as he walked in and looked around the room.

"yeah i think so. i cant wait to see my mom again!" i said excitedly at the end. probably more excited than i should have been.

"nice" Zayn chuckled. " its just Harry and i since the boys decided to party a bit last night and are definitely feeling it this morning" he laughed a bit to himself and i found myself doing the same, i couldn't help but feel like everyone was detached a bit from me. like we weren't as close knitted as everyone led on? but it could have probably been that i sort of lost all of our memories together and therefore cant relate to anything with them anymore.

"we better get moving" Zayn said as he grabbed my bag from the table. "i want to get to Harry's before dark, we were all planning on going there tonight but since some of us decided to get drunk like idiots that wont be happening" he laughed as he and i made our way to the elevator.

"how are they getting there anyway?" i asked out of curiosity a smile still on mt face from his last remark.

"we are just going to make them get a taxi since nobody wants to make a trip that long just to pick some one up." he said to me, looking at the elevators dial go down as we descended to the lobby. "just a fair warning. Harry is a bit moody, he also partied last night, got a little drunk, and now he may also be a little hung over." he said looking to me a but questionably.

" if he is hung over then why did he bother coming?" i asked scrunching my nose while thinking of why the hell he would do that?

"he just wanted to see you off and make sure you were OK." he said simply " i mean come on. he is harry after all" he chuckled inwardly.

"what do you mean?" i asked Zayn out of curiosity and the wanting to know if harry cared about me that much to want to see me well even if he weren't feeling up to it.

"i mean that you should know even by your past together and how he has been with you lately, that harry is the way he is to you because he loves you" my mind had made everything stop and my heart flutter, "he loves you" was ringing in my ears. but was soon ruined by the words chasing it.

"like a sister"

i didn't like harry like a brother that is for sure so why does he get to just like me like a sister. i could feel my mood change by those small words, from excited and smiling, to waiting for the day to be over.

we had finally reached the car and i was met with a very disgruntled harry. his hair was in a bandanna and he was in skinnys and a plaid shirt, he looked effortlessly cute even if he were grumpy.

"morning harry" i said as i had opened the door.

he grunted and gave me the cool two fingered wave. he was laid down in the back with his feet up on the window since he was obviously much too large to fit back there being obviously over six feet tall. i sat myself comfortably in the passenger seat of who i am guessing was Zayn's Porsche i knew it was going to be a long ride so i decided not to get too much sleep last night, i figured i could just get away with sleeping away the car ride.

i woke up to see harry outside the passenger door, it felt like i had been sleeping for mere seconds. i yawned and slipped my arms around his neck where i heard him chuckle and lift me up, i always thought it was so soothing to be carried and to even feel them walking, breathing, even hear their heart beat. i could feel myself being soothed back to sleep as the steps went by. i felt harry struggle to open the door and was greeted by the sweet smell of home as we walked inside, however i wasn't ready to be greeting or talking to anyone right now. he had slowly made his way upstairs to my room and i was let down onto my soft yet cold bed. i tugged on Harry's fingers that i had been able to reach before he walked away.

"its too cold" i groaned to him. i didn't want to be left alone is what i really wanted to say, and also "i like you so much so please, stay with me, because even your presence is enough" did not seem suitable. but either way harry sighed and took off his shoes before he crawled into the bed behind me. instantly i felt warm and safe.

just by his presence.