Darkness

Chapter 7

The next day I woke up and straight away realized i had a non stop banging on my head. I was stupidly hung over, and my feelings remained. The alcohol did nothing for me at all, i was just put into agony and stress. I rolled over in my bed while clutching my head, only to roll onto something, or should i say someone? 

I opened my clamped eyes to see Harry sitting snug as a bug under my covers. Wait why the hell is he in my room? How did he get in here? When did he get in here? I groaned and kicked the peaceful Harry off of my bed and instantly regretted it because he made a loud yelping sound that caused me to cringe in pain. I saw Harry stand up, rub his head and stretch, before looking at me a bit confused. 

"Why the hell are you in my room?" i hissed angrily at him. My head was pounding and i had evidence of my drinking to make disappear. The very last thing i needed right now was to deal with all of this Harry business. 

"I had to make sure i wouldn't miss you" he said in anything but a whisper making me hiss in pain and shove myself under the covers. 

"Quieter!" i yelped while plugging my ears trying to make the pounding stop. "I have a hang over you ass!" I hissed while i uncovered myself form my thick blankets. He looked at me a bit astonished at my said actions, but what did he care. Seeing that it wasn't a big deal to me, he straightened himself out and carried on and sat himself on my bed. I didn't want to get out of the covers however because i was only in my underwear and i didn't really want Harry to see that.

"Well i didn't want to miss you today, so i snuck in through the balcony door and tried to wake you up, but it was so late that i must have fallen asleep while trying." He explained while laying down on my bed over the covers and resting his head on his hand with his elbow supporting him. 

"Why didn't you want to miss me this morning?" I asked while turning over in my bed carefully shifting my covers. "Why not last year? Why not the year before?" I asked feeling the familiar lump in my throat and tears forming in my eyes, to subside them i started to breathe heavily, they became ragged when i realized it wasn't working. I realized Harry wasn't responding and turned over to him to see he was criss-cross and silently crying. Without a second thought i came out of the covers to try to comfort him. I hugged him making him fall back and loop his arms around my waist, i sighed and began crying by the familiar scent that Harry carried. In the midst of my emotions i had failed to remember that i had only worn my underwear to bed last night and instantly blushed in embarrassment and had hoped that Harry had not taken notice. I slowly removed my face from the crook of his neck to see his eyes glazed with surprise, starring at my almost bare back. 

"Uhm sorry" I said awkwardly as i quickly shoved myself under the covers feeling impossibly embarrassed and self-conscious, i turned my back to him to hide my red face. I heard and felt Harry get out of the bed, i knew it, i had disgusted him, he wanted to leave me and my headache. I couldn't help but let a tear slip for the reasons he was finally leaving, i had disgusted him. Why do i have to look like this? why do i have to be such an idiot?

But my self loathing thoughts were cut short when i heard Harry shuffling and stumbling all over the place, i was curious as to what he was doing but i didn't turn my face because i didn't want him to know how weak i was. Soon i had felt the bed shift and the space beside me was filled by Harry. He hadn't left me. I smiled at the thought and wiped my cold tears. 

"He probably just felt sorry for you, don't even get your hopes up" the voice in my head hissed, bringing my smile clear down to a frown, it was right. But it didn't stop me from turning to Harry a little confused. He was smiling cheekily and i found out why when i saw his bare shoulders and realized that he had wanted to make my feel better. I gasped and giggled when he hugged me, Harry never stopped surprising me, even when we weren't together and he was famous. I hugged him back feeling his warmth and scent engulfing me, I felt at home, finally.

"I'm sorry, Lilly" Harry whispered hugging me a little closer. I didn't respond, letting the silence answer that i had forgiven him. I almost wish i hadn't let him be forgiven but, i needed him more than i thought. He made me feel like i was myself again, he kept me guessing, he kept me hanging on a string, wondering what he would do next, would he leave, make a move, make a joke? You just didn't know with him.

I just listened to him breathing calmly, his breath slowing, i was almost asleep when curiosity had gotten the better of me.

"Why" was all i said. Harry sighed and looked down at me.

" i don't know. I think i may have blocked you out subconsciously, not seeing you daily was too hard on me, i guess i just needed to let myself have a break." He drifted the end of his sentence, looking off into space. 

"You're lucky." i said as i turned my back to him, only to have him snuggle back up to my back and put his chin to the top of my head. "You got to escape. You didn't have to live with constant reminders, memories never stop flashing by when you walk down the street. The people don't stop talking about it, they keep chattering on and on about how amazing it is that they knew you." i finished my 'short inform to Harry with a sigh, i was both annoyed at the thought and relieved that i finally got to tell him. 

"I am so sorry Lilly. I never meant for this to happen, you know that." He said as he turned me over to look at him.

"I know you didn't Harry, but it did happen." i said a bit coldly but it was the truth. 

"I know and i don't plan on it ever happening again." he said with a bit of a smile as he hugged me again to his chest, but this time he played with my hair and hummed a little tune. It was nice to have him back and it being as early as i am sure it was, i had no problem falling back to sleep in his arms. 

Now i felt as bright as my room was. And it was glowing.