i'm floating amidst endless eigengrau. it's my etheric escape where i touch shallow waters and drift with no start or end. i often find myself here, almost consciously; trying to imprison a thought or a person as if closing my eyes would cage everything inside my brain. i can't recall the exact moment when it started but i find myself accompanied by a grotesque ghost these days. i can feel his flesh upon my own. i can inhale him hovering behind my back. he isn't warm and welcoming; just lifeless with no blood churning in his veins, with no love to atone for his sins.
we're here now, stuck in this loop of nomadic wanderings with our destinations unknown; our halts are barely mirages, and our comrades are just ghosts from the past. the future lies too far away, an outline i can't really decipher. a place i'm not sure would welcome me. everything slips away from the folds and creases of my hands, from the vaults of my brain - almost like sand rushing through an hourglass - the only difference: this time i can't really turn it back. i can't reverse it.
i'm chasing shadows of peoples and places whom i've met and whom i haven't known. i don't know which is more agonizing.
