𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 ? ~ 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐛𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞̀

vingt-neuf

𝐈𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

𝟒 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑

Here we are again.

Another 4 years of heartbreak and misery.

And it's all my fault.

Not much has changed.In fact,nothing has changed.

Kylian and I don't talk at all.He has blocked me from everywhere.All these 4 years I have seen him a few times.Only on birthdays and events.

However,he tries to spend a lot of time with Freya and Mike and it makes me very happy and he wants nothing to do with me.

His mother's death and my betrayal have changed him a lot.But I can't tell if this change is for the better or for the worse.

As for me.My life has no meaning anymore.I am alone,and the only thing that gives me hope is my children who grow up and mature.

To tell the truth,I'm used to it.I can now say that I don't care about Kylian,I have more serious problems than whether he will talk to me or not.

I'm so over him.

The only thing that is going well is my work,I am very happy with my performance and every day I have new opportunities and more and more work.

Mike learned the word milf.And he said his friends called me that.

I laughed at that.

We live in our own house now.Not exactly ours.We live in Sophias house together.She was so warm to us staying with her,and unfortunately all the houses were so expensive that it wasn't in my budget.

And now,let's talk about the part that literally hurts me the most.

No one knows about it.Not even my best friend Sophia.

I don't know if I am ready to talk about it even if I have to.

𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

𝟏 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐆𝐎.

"For 3 weeks now I have had a persistent cough, unexplained pains and weight loss. Something is happening to me.But I don't know what."I told the doctor in one breath.

"That's so sad,Irina.I'm sorry."He replied.

"What is it?"

"Everything you describe to me are symptoms of cancer.And from what I see from the results of your tests,unfortunately you suffer from cancer.We have to fight it.In two days we start chemotherapy.You will come every day at 5 o'clock in the afternoon,but don't get your hopes up.Unfortunately,the type of cancer you have is quite aggressive."

𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤.

And yes,I have cancer.

That's why I try to enjoy every second of my miserable life because the next morning when I wake up I don't know if I'll be alive.

The pains are horrible.And what hurts me the most is that from moment to moment I won't see my children again,and I will leave them without a mother.

Fortunately,my hair hasn't started falling out yet,but it will start to happen from moment to moment.And then I won't be able to hide it from anyone.

I have to pretend every day that I'm fine. I know the right thing to do is to tell the people close to me, to prepare my children but really, I don't want to hurt the people I love. I don't know how you can tell two nine year olds that tomorrow maybe their mother will die and they will never see her again.