All I Want Is You (Bkdk, Dkbk)

- 25: All I Want Is You Now -

Katsuki watches Deku goes into his room. It's been a long fucking time since he was in here, so Katsuki watches him to make sure he doesn't fuck anything up. 

It pisses him off when someone gets his room messy or dirty, so he stays at the doorway, ready to catch any mistake Deku makes. 

But as expected, nerdacus dweebacus already knows what to do and doesn't ruin his bed when he sits on it. 

Fine, this is happening then. 

It's not like they can sit in silence with this heavy air between them the whole time, he knows that. His first plan was to just kick Deku out if he did anything, but after the whole fucking thing downstairs, he might as well finish what he started. 

Maybe that was what he's been feeling this whole time. 

Guilt. 

Yeah, it surprised him too, but it's not like he's suddenly a changed man now. Just after hugging Deku, actually feeling him there after three weeks of no contact was like cold water being spilled onto his whole body. 

It left him feeling clear and somewhat calm. 

So now, he knows what he has got to do. 

He watches as Deku shifts onto the edge of his bed, hands on his knees, still not looking at him. 

"So... Um... About... The other day..." 

He watches him closely and folds his arms as he leans on the wall. The other day, aka three fucking weeks ago. Annoyance is quick to take over as he corrects him.

"Three weeks."  

Deku looks at him finally, clearly confused. It manages to piss him off even more. How dare this asshole say a day when they both know it's been three fucking weeks since Deku has said even a word to him. 

Katsuki and Deku had never gone that long without talking to each other, or at least being in each other's presence. Now he knows why it pissed him off. 

"It's been three fucking weeks." 

Deku looks away and nods and its quiet again. Katsuki doesn't look away from him. How can he? It pisses him off that he seems too nonchalant about all of this bullshit when Katsuki was moping around like a little bitch. 

Did he even think about Katsuki at all that whole time? Did it make him feel happy when he was by himself with that fucking asshole? Did they have a good time, laughing behind Katsuki's fucking back at how stupid he was? 

"Yeah, look, i um... I wanted to say..."

Katsuki resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Just spit it out already Deku." 

Deku looks at him after taking a deep breath and Katsuki shifts slightly. Green eyes focus back on him, and he feels that anger ebb away some.

"I'm not sorry about slapping you. You deserved it. Honestly, i should have done a lot more than that." 

he had expected that much at least. Why would he ask shitty Deku to say sorry about that when they both know it was Katsuki's own fault. That pit grows in his stomach. 

"But still. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that, so I'm sorry." 

Just like him to apologize for something that wasn't his fault. If he doesn't say something, shit will just go back to the way they were before, and that growing pit will eat him alive. He has to be a hero. He's not going to let this bullshit hold him back. 

The only way to get rid of some of this guilt, is to just go for it. 

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

He's Katsuki fucking Bakugo. He can't let Deku be better than him, no matter what it is. 

"Yeah. Same." 

God damnit what was that?! Fuck, he has to do better than that! Deku might fucking get up and leave again, and then what would he fucking do? It's not like he can start a fight right here when their parents are just downstairs. 

"What?" 

Deku sounds so surprised, and it makes him feel like shit. He groans, moving his hands to cover his face. 

Chill the hell out Bakugo, you can do it. 

He pushes his hair back and looks at him, 

"I...." 

It feels like the words are trapped in his ribcage and refusing to come out but damnit, he's going to make them. He won't go another fucking week like before. 

"I shouldn't have... done all of that." 

He looks back at Deku's face and he looks like he just saw a ghost. Is that not what he's supposed to say or some shit? 

"What?! I said i was s-" 

Fuck, calm down. 

Don't yell, just say it. 

Don't lose your shit. 

He drops to the floor, trying to relax. He doesn't look at Deku yet. 

"Sorry. I mean that I'm sorry. I didn't mean... What i said before... Your bitch ass got one free slap. it's not going to fucking happen again. And if it does, count your fucking days, Deku." 

He glares at him, that dumb look still on his face. 

"And if you tell anyone about his, I'm fucking skinning you alive got it?!" 

Katsuki watches as tears fill Deku's eyes and he sniffs. 

Damnit. 

"Yeah, i got it..." 

Look at this asshole. Crying over such a half assed apology, from him of all people. He decides then and there that soon, he will apologize for real. 

Not just for the bullshit he did now, but for all of it. And he'll make it the best damn apology he's ever given in his whole damn life, so good that Deku will cry tears of joy. 

"Crybaby." 

Deku looks at him, the tears gone. 

"Asshole." 

He rolls his eyes, feeling at ease now, better than he's felt these past few weeks. He stands up and tosses a control toward Deku, who stumbles to catch it.

He grabs his own and sits next to him, his mind focusing on their knees touching. They play Stardew valley together. 

"But kacchan!--" 

The rest of his sentence dies to Katsuki's ears. 

In that moment, he would agree to anything the nerd fucking said because damnit, sitting here together, hearing that dumb nickname come out of his mouth is....

nice. 

So, fucking nice.