A Silent Scream *MCR fanfic*

17

My eyes feel light. Lighter than they ever have before. Am I waking up? Why would I only now be waking up? Nothing makes sense. That's not to say that anything made sense before the lightness of my eyes, as nothing has ever made sense. But still, everything seems a bit more confusing than usual. A pain comes alive in my leg, coursing slowly back up to my chest. My vision begins to pulse, getting brighter each time until I'm staring into a blinding, pure-white glow.

Through something I can't explain, or ever hope to under stand, the blinding light changes into a dull note, unchanging and sounding almost electronic. A room starts to form in my vision, all-white and plastic, which doesn't make very much sense. Why would I be in a plastic room? The dull beep changed to rapid ones, going up and down and everywhere, bouncing around in my skull. The pounding of that beep in my head eventually lulled me into unconsciousness.

"My head hurts."

Before I'm fully conscious, I apparently like to complain. Seems like me. There was a soft chuckle and a familiar voice reached my ears,

"Well. You did get into a car crash. And then just laid around doing nothing for weeks. " A smile tugged at my lips and I called happily,

"Gerar- Wait. No. I'm mad at you. Why am I mad at you?" I looked around the room until I find him, head buried in his hands. There's something he did, I'm sure of it. I just can't seem to remember what it was. It must have been really big, because I'm furious. I hardly notice that he's muttering into his hands.

"What? It can't have been that bad." Okay. Small lie. I just needed to know.

"Fine. I'll tell you. But you need to know something first. I can't control my outbreaks, They're random and I never know when one's coming. An-. Um. I. Two things. I lobu." Either he went into serious mutter mode, or I went deaf.

"Sorry, what was that last part?"

"I love you."

See, if a normal person was confronted with this situation, they'd freak out a bit. Panic. Tell their friend that they need time to think and then go tell their other friend to get advice. Well I couldn't do that. For one, I couldn't exactly leave. And for two, I had no other friends. Logically, I should have had some sort of panic attack, or I should have asked him to leave. But, being me, I couldn't do something logical. No, no. I did something entirely stupid and possibly self-destructive instead. I nodded, and said,

"Okay."

Ah, the inevitable return of my pre-middle school social skills. Possibly mixed with whatever drugs I'm on right now. Either way, the entire situation was completely awkward, and Gerard just nodded, continued fidgeting and started explaining,

"So. A while ago I refused to take my medicine and ran away. Then I came back, and you were, quite reasonably furious at me. It was completely clear that we were gonna have a fight, but your hair looked like shit, so I fixed that before the fight. That's where things got messed up. Which, to be clear, was in no way your fault. Back to the ever-so-fun story. We both crossed quite a few lines. But. You crossed the wrong one, and it triggered one of my sociopathic outbreaks. Long story short, I threatened to murder you, in an extremely detailed manner, and then told you I wouldn't. When you asked why, I may or may not have kissed you. You then stormed out, drove off, and got in a crash."

The air seemed to solidify. Functioning didn't seem like a logical response, so instead I just smiled, while the memories rushed back into my head.

I just didn't know what to do. There wasn't a step-by-step guide for this situation, was there? If there was, I would almost certainly not be in such a tremendously awkward position. On one hand, it would be incredibly nice to stab him. Not anywhere especially deadly, just because of how much panic he'd caused me. On the other hand, he couldn't control it. And I had crossed far more lines than I should have. But on yet another hand, that I happen to have laying around for situations where there are more than two hands necessary, I was feeling the urge to forget the murder threat and kiss him. He was cute, there was no denying it, and I was beginning to feel that I may have been suppressing some feelings, just to avoid the impressively painful feeling of rejection, followed by the ever-so-wonderful friend zone, which would likely ruin the only friendship I had. But evidently, that wouldn't have happened, as he'd liked me the entire time.

So, while the majority of my mind was considering the options, and weighing which would be more logical, one tiny part was like "let's just randomly kiss him". Based on my wonderfully unforgiving social awkwardness in difficult situations, my body decided to listen to that one small part of my head. I reached up, pulled his face towards mine and our lips met. It wasn't a particularly passionate kiss. Sparks didn't fly. Intense music didn't play. I didn't realize I'd truly been in love with him since the moment I met. There wasn't a montage. It was a normal kiss. Even so, an emotional chord deep within me was struck, and I murmured,

"Date me?"

Gerard grabbed my hand and answered as our fingers intertwined,

"Yes."

A/N I feel like the worst author in the entire universe. I'm so sorry. I don't even have an excuse. I just left you there for 23 days. I didn't have writers block. My internet didn't crash. I didn't break my phone. I was honestly just too lazy. Please forgive me. Please keep reading. I'm sorry. I'd say it won't happen again but it probably will and I try not to lie. So. Thank you so much for reading. And sticking with me through my horrifically awful updating patterns. If I'm being honest, I've been binge-watching all of the shows, destroying my sleeping schedule and joining so many YouTuber fandoms. Obviously a great use of my time. :/ I promise I'll try to update within the next 10(?maybe) days. Probably won't happen. Anyways. Bye waffles! *blows kisses*
-Tyler