Iced Gingerbread

Chapter 7

Brer Bear and Brer Rabbit were still interrogating the old man.

"If you really ain't Santy, prove it" said Brer Bear.

Chad and Jeremy arrived in pursuit of their friends.

"Brer Bear, Brer Rabbit, I told you to leave this poor man alone!" Chad scolded.

"I've been asking them to leave for three hours straight! Well, with a couple of cookie breaks" said the old man.

"A thousand pardons, sir. We would have been here sooner, but y'know. This one" said Jeremy pointing at Chad.

Chad sighed. "Oh dear. Sir, I apologize. For some strange reason, they've convinced themselves you're Father Christmas."

"Hey. If I had a magic sleigh, I'd be flying over Rose Marie's house" said the old man.

"Come on. If you's really not Santy, explain all de cookies" said Brer Bear.

"So I don't always make the best dietary choices. Who are you? My cardiologist?" said the old man.

"Den you really ain't Santy?" said Brer Bear.

"No! So scram back to your mountain! Better yet, take Mr Carrot Cake all the way back to New York where he came from!" said the old man.

"Wait... how'd you know I'm from New York?" said Brer Bear.

"Uh... y-you must have mentioned it in all your yakking" said the old man awkwardly.

"No he didn't" said Brer Rabbit.

"I didn't even know he was from New York" said Chad.

"Me either" said Jeremy.

"Any chance you believe it was a lucky guess?" the old man protested.

"You know cuz you is Santy Claus!" said Brer Bear.

"Not exactly. I was Santa Claus. But not anymore. I'm done with Christmas" said the old man.

"What? Santy, whaddaya mean you's dun wit Chrizmas?" said Brer Bear.

"The world doesn't need me anymore. These days, you pick up a telephone and a delivery man in short pants drops a toy at your door. So kids can get toys without me flying around the world, busting my hump, defying the laws of physics..." Santa moaned.

"But that's not right" said Jeremy.

"Right or wrong, my pulmonologist says I'm this close to black lung! So I am done going down chimneys and I am done with this conversation. Now get out of here" said the old man.

"Come, Brer Rabbit" said Jeremy carrying the rabbit.

"And Chad? Try using that compass I left under your tree seven years ago" said Santa.

"I would... but I can't find it" Chad confessed.

The guys then left the cabin. 

"I can't b'leev Santy's lost his Christmas spirit" said Brer Rabbit. 

"We need to do something?" said Chad.

"I knows how we can help Santy!" said Brer Bear.

"Find him a dietitian?" said Jeremy.

"Introduce 'im ter Rose Marie?" said Brer Rabbit.

"Nope and nope. Santy thinks he just brings presents. But he brings mo' den dat. Mo' den any deliv'ry man can. An' I knows how we can prove it ter him an' save Chrizmas" said Brer Bear.

"Smashing, Brer Bear. Tell us on the way back to the mountain. To guide us, we'll just follow the North Star" said Chad pointing at the sky.

"That's an aeroplane, you ignoramus!" said Jeremy.