The Journal

Chapter: 3 - Tough Day

Chapter : 3 - Tough Day

Wednesday, December 3, 20**

*"Beep!, beep!, beep!, beep!, beep! Wake Up your alarm is going off! Wake Up your alarm is going off!"*

Reaching over I hit the 'end' button on the stupid alarm ending the annoying beeping and robot voice interrupting me from my sleep. Sitting up I took a moment to look around the darkness of my room, adjusting my eyes to the dim light.

I had my black curtains drawn, blocking out all possibility of any stray light from entering through my windows. Sitting on top of my desk was my journal, still as empty as ever since I'd first written in it two days ago, and my book bag next to it.

Finally climbing out of the bed I went into my bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. My dark brown hair was like a birds nest on my head, and I'd somehow developed dark bags under my eyes in the four hours I'd been asleep. My brown eyes were drowsy and glossy like I'd barely had enough time to sleep which I hadn't and I looked pale, in all I thought I myself looked as if I were going to drop dead at any moment.

Taking the brush that was lying on the bathroom counter I slowly began to comb my way through my nest of hair, carefull not to inflict to much pain to my head. When I'd finally managed to tame my wild hair I slowly and lazily began my normal routine, and hopped into the shower.

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**20 mins. Later**

Ruffling around my closet for a black t-shirt I bent down to retrieve some black converses too. Going over to my dresser I grabbed a pair of black jeans and quickly got dressed. Walking over to my desk I grabbed my journal, and book bag and began walking down the stairs, making sure to be as quiet as possible along the way.

Going into the kitchen I put my journal in my bag as I simultaneously reached up to grab a breakfast bar from the cabinet. Walking out in the kitchen I grabbed my black hoodie from the coat rack and walked out the door. The frigid air woke me up little as I walk down the street, tearing the bar open and taking a bite.

Nothing had really changed in the two days since is written in the journal. I'd been having a case of writers block like before and I guess I still had no idea what to write exactly. Everyday I still woke up early, showered, dressed in all black, and finally grabbed a breakfast bar before walking out the house and to school.

Actually let me correct myself nothing had changed at all in the two days since I'd written in the journal. Sighing as I took the last bite of my breakfast bar I crumbled the trash up and shoved it in my pocket, looking at the ground as I walked. Occasionally I walked by a small pebble or stone as I walked yet all I seemed able to think of was my failed attempt at actually doing something as simple as writing the events of my life down.

Yet at the moment it actually didn't seem that simple. How exactly was I suppost to know that agreeing to writing about my life seemed so simple but was not at all in reality? Sighing once more I was kind of shocked when I saw the bright neon of the crossing guard. Once again as I was engrossed in my thoughts I'd been led astray right up to prison...YAY!

Now with an reasonable excuse to sigh it seemed Id ran out of energy and couldnt even come up with enough to muster the exhale of my breath. With drooping shoulders I walked across the street to the side door of the school and entered, heading for Mr. Creeps' room.

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After I was finally able to leave the counselors doors I was surprised at how he'd somehow been able to help "guide" me in what I should write about. This time it was the words of "if you are stuck with no idea what to write just write about your day, or the people in your life. Better yet how the people in your life affect your mood overall and what role they have in how you find yourself where you are today."

So that was what I was exactly going to do. Id decided to not write like I done last time in class and just take notes of my surroundings so I could somehow put together something to write at home. Walking to my second class with the excuse slip I was given I walked to the door, hating every second I'd have to go through as soon as I opened the door.

Slowly turning the knob I wasn't surprised when the teacher stopped right in the middle of her lesson to look straight at me in what seemed to an annoyed expression. Quickly going over to her I handed her the slip feeling the stares of all the students in the room and hers. Just as I was turning around to head to my seat I was stopped by her.

"Ms. Carter, it seems that every day you bring in excused slips from the counselor so I would like for you to please tell him that I'm fine with you not bringing back these slips. Honestly they're just a waste of yours and my time when I could be teaching so if I must say just come in quietly and sit like you always do so I don't have to stop class. Plus why must you even go to him every day?"

Gulping as I shied away from her question I tried to come up with a reason while it seemed everyone in the room was staring at me as if they also wanted to know the reason. Daring a glance behind me I was kind of nervous when I saw one of the jocks elbow his friend before pointing up at me and laughing.

Knowing something bad was going to happen I looked back at the teacher who seemed to be waiting for my answer. I shrugged my shoulders half hardly hoping she would let me go sit down so I didn't have to face this embarrassment anymore.

But as my luck what have it she just stared at me harder as if she was telling me to suck it up and tell her. Shrinking even more away from her I was glad when one of the students spoke up.

"Mrs. Barns?!"

Looking up from me she looked behind my head at whoever had spoken.

"Yes, Joey?"

Looking behind me as well I was beginning to feel the oncoming dread as my predictions came true. Joey as she'd said wasn't just anyone but the jock I was looking at earlier.

"I know why she goes to see Mr. Darvy everyday."

"Oh really? And why is it, Joey?"

"Oh nothing really besides the fact that shes damaged goods and wants someone to kiss her ugly face with love."

As he finished everyone who'd been paying attention to him, which was everyone, seemed to be laughing at what he'd said. All the boys that were around him pat him on the back and high fived him and in the mist of the laughter I heard a couple of "that was a good one man".

Looking back at Mrs. Barns who was sternly glaring at Joey I kind of stood around her until she dismissed me to my seat giving me a somewhat sympathetic look.

But I didn't want hers or anyone else's sympathy, Id long ago stopped yearning for that useless emotion and began to walk down the aisle, looking at the ground as I walked by the crowd of laughing kids.

When I finally made it to my seat I pulled one of my plain notebooks out and began to write notes down in it. The students and jocks didnt bother me and I refused to let them see that they did. Sighing as I began to write I looked up at Mrs. Barns who was trying to calm the class down.

I knew when I returned from break that the teasing from the students would start again, I just didn't think it'd be this soon. It was just one of the many things that came form avoiding contact with everyone and being an "outcast" in this school.

Looking down at my notebook I could still feel a few of the students' eyes on me and didn't look up until Mrs. Barns had everyone's attention once more. As I looked up I felt as if one person was still looking at me and as I looked around to see I caught the fleeting glance of someone as the door closed behind them. Oddly I could've sworn they wore glasses and I could see Sperry's.

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Authors Note:
So let me just say I'm sorry for the long wait...I had exams...had to study and take them. So on my first day of summer guess what I was doing?! Yeah so...over the summer I hope to write more and hopefully I can.

Moving on, I hope you like and if so please VOTE & COMMENT.

Oddybody1221

Song Of This Chapter: Holes by: Passenger