The Prince and His Flower

N I N E T Y - S I X

Aemma felt like she was going mad over the last few weeks; after Rhaenys' funeral she felt the same empty feeling after she had lost Luke, but she also felt the same crushing guilt. Even Corlys had tried to reassure her it was not her fault but still, she sat out on the cliffs, silently begging her grandmother for forgiveness.

Part of her ashes were imbued in Dragonstone, and the rest were scattered in the wind. Corlys kept a small amount to himself, promising to build her a shrine on Driftmark. 

"It's cold out, you're going to get sick." Jace sat next to her and draped a cloak over her shoulders. 

"Thanks." She mumbled and pulled the thick cloak tighter around her. 

"Are you alright?" He shifted closer and rested his arm around her shoulders. "This wasn't your fault. None of it was."

She knew he meant Luke, but she didn't say anything because she thought that if she did, she would cry. "I think Mother hates me." She said instead. 

"She's just conflicted. It's hard when you look at it from her perspective; she doesn't know them like you do."

Maybe he was right, but maybe her mother was just disgusted by her actions and truly did hate her. It made no difference to her anymore; she had already lost everything. Not Aemond, she thought to herself. He'll always be there with me. She missed him terribly but knew she would see him again soon. 

"Do you miss them?" He asked.

"Yes, but I missed you all more than anything. Seeing Aegon and Viserys is just wonderful; I thought that they'd forgotten me." She paused for a second. "Am I horrible for missing Aemond?"

He stopped and pondered the question, then his answer. "No, I think it's justifiable for missing someone you share so much of your life with." 

She hoped he was right and that Aemond missed her just as much as she missed him. But she missed her grandmother the most. If she thought about it too much, she could start to taste the dirt in her smoke and smell the smoke in the air. 

"I feel like I've done terrible things; everyone thinks that I have ruined this war, but I think this war has ruined me instead." 

Jace patted her arm reassuringly and offered a small smile, unsure of what to say. He felt guilty about letting her get exposed to so many horrific things but he knew everything would be worth it in the end. He hoped they would, at the very least. 

It was nearly time for bed when Rhaenyra asked for Aemma to come to her chambers, a sudden request, and one that turned her stomach into knots. She opened the door with a shaky hand, wondering what sort of entrapment she was walking into.

Rhaenyra was sitting on the floor with her arms open to Viserys, who was stumbling forward as he took his first few steps.

"Aemma, come! You'll miss it." She beckoned her closer and scooted back a few inches, forcing Viserys to walk even further. "I've watched all my children's first steps. It's so beautiful to watch."

She tentatively sat next to her mother, some of her worry easing away as she watched her little brother clumsily walk around on his chubby legs. He suddenly tripped forward, but Aemma's arms shot out just in time to steady him.

"Quick reflexes," Rhaenyra remarked. "Just like your father. He saved you all from lots of falls."

"I bet he did. Was I a clumsy baby?"

"You and Luke knocked each other over more times than I can count." Both of them paused for a second at the mention of his name, unsure of what to say to each other, but after a moment Rhaenyra shook her head softly and took Viserys into her arms. "I think Viserys is going to grow up to be a fine knight."