𝓐𝓼𝓼𝓪𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷'𝓼 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 //𝓹𝓳𝓶

[13] 𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓛𝓐𝓣𝓘𝓞𝓝

-if I ever tell you about
my past it's not because
I want you to feel sorry
for me but to know
why I am the way I am -

🥀

That was it , I broke down into tears I just can't keep it up all to myself , the more I hide it the more I die inside. I always thought that I should conceal my weakness with a mask but the more I'll do it the more I'm losing myself , it's so hard. Life's so hard.

Suddenly I felt a hug. No hugs.
All of them were hugging me, even though all of them were overlapping each other and suffocating me , I felt good

They all let go of me.

"It's okay"

"He...h..he used to ...he sed to abuse me...a-always ...I w-was s..ca- scared o-" I couldn't speak as fear again took over me . I am pathetic. I was again and again inturppted by hiccups

"Calm ..calm down Y/N" Jin said as he gave me a glass of water

I drank it and somehow calmed down

"Would you like to ex-" I cut Yoongi's word short

"Yea- I had a boyfriend , like when I was new in this university he was the first person, I got along with , he was a nice guy , good personality, kind and generous .....soon he introduced me to his friends and that's how I made some friends...Soon he ask-asked me out and I said yes, cause I knew him and for me , at that time he was a nice guy ...but when we started dating he changed a bit , he became rude and sometimes too possessive , but I ignored , I did whatever he said -----........ I--It was all fine u-until o-ne day , he came back , he looked pretty mad and I just asked the r-reason h-h-he s-slapped me ....I got mad ...after that every night he used to beat me to death then sexually harra- harrass harrass me and in the morning he would act all sweet . I was scared of him , I didn't complain because he never let me go out without him nearby , because him I cut all the connections with my friends , B-but one day when My brother came to visit me , he saw all the brusies and scars I had and he went ballistic and sent Kang Dae Soeng to j-" I broke once again but I felt lighter and better

"It's alright" Suga hugged me and I cried on his shoulder

"We're here" Hobi said and others nodded

"He's such an asshole" kookie mumbled

"Hey why don't we just go and have some fresh air?" Joon suggested

"Y--yea" I answered and they all smiled at me

............

"Ayy! No no that one" I said to Jimin as he was picking the wrong one from the claw crane push vending machine

"Yah!" He said in frustration as he couldn't do it for the 100th time

I started to laugh and he laughed too

"You're really bad at it" I said and smiled

"Are you complementing me or making fun of me?" He said and I just ignored him as I started to gaze the stars

I was always fascinated by stars and moon , It was like the only good in all bad.

So I felt connected and comfortable.

Under the night sky.

I never really have a childhood or any special memories that I can cherish , so I'm not afraid to die

Growing up I really didn't do what I always wanted to.

But now I wish to do everything I want to.

I looked at Jimin , and he was staring at me, his eyes were eyes were glistening , wait his eyes were watery?

He suddenly averted his gaze from me , he seemed to be flustered by my sudden move

"What happened ?" I asked

"Nothing " He said , but I don't believe him

And soon the boys came with the ice creams

"Yay!" Kookie gave me the chocolate one

I never enojyed ice creams

I never went for a walk under the sky like this

I never enojyed myself or someone else

I never felt so alive and free.

In other words I am happy in this moment I really don't want it to fade away