Am I the Problem? (Denki angst)

Chapter 7

Thank you all for holding on for such a long time for me to come back, lots of love <3

The entirety of May has been hell for me with the first week being 3 AP exams and an EOC then finals 2 weeks after that. I got only one and a half weeks of a real summer break so far because on Sunday I had to come to a camp where I'm going to e working on research for the next 6 weeks. I will try my best to update with what time I have but in case it's slow it's because of this research thing.

By the way, I will be spending my 17th birthday doing work all day...I can't wait...

Last thing in the last chapter I originally didn't plan for that to happen just like that but my thoughts were getting to me so I said "Let's go and dump all my problems and feelings onto Denki in this one big sweep and create chaos" so yeah now congrats we are arriving at much more angst nowwww

Trigger Warning

- Suicide (Sorry not sorry)

Denki's POV

Once I finally reached the rooftop doors, I slowly pushed them open. The sun is such a beautiful orange hue as it starts slowly setting over the horizon. As the door closed shut behind me I felt a strong breeze hit me, and my hair started to flow from the gust. I thought about how peaceful this moment was, is this usually how peaceful your moments before death are supposed to feel?

I walk forward, now able to clearly see the edge and all the cars driving by and people on the ground walking. It really is a high place to jump from, there should be a low chance of me surviving then right?

I take my phone out of my pocket and decide that it would be pretty rude and insensitive if I were to just die with no last words to everyone and letting them know about this. I'm very certain that everyone would be celebrating with joy once they see the message. I know Shinsou and Mina support me but I always have this feeling inside that they really don't want to be on my side and help me. It doesn't matter anymore, it is all going to be over now. Everyone will be happy and get what they have wanted for a while now.

Insomniac Cat 💜

Sparky Boi ⚡️: Hey Shinsou. I just wanted to tell you I loved your company so much. I really enjoyed all the time we spent time together, every time you were around I always felt a spark of happiness in my heart and it felt so amazing. I would love to hold onto this feeling forever but I don't think it will happen anymore...

I'm going to miss our cuddles when watching a movie together in one of our rooms

I'm going to miss the way we would secretly sneak out to buy ice cream and go to the park

I'm going to miss the way you'd make me cookies and feed them to me when I refuse

I'm going to miss the way I see you looking at me sometimes

I'm going to miss looking at you secretly in the same way

I'm really sad that I've never gotten a chance to say this to you in person, but...

I love you Shinsou, I love you so much I can't even describe it. You are the best thing that has ever happened in my whole life. You are the only happiness and light that has kept me going since the incident and even before. You'll always be the number one hero in my heart, even when I'm gone.

I felt a tear start to roll down my cheek, and before I knew it my vision started to become blurry. I had to finish this quickly though. I took my hand and wiped my eyes, moving onto the official class group chat.