Time

XI

Aris

"I can't believe you did this, thank you Nauti" I said to her as I walked around our cabin for the 12th time. She ended up booking us a cabin in Denver for the weekend.

"You don't have to thank me, it's a well needed break for the both of us." she said shrugging as she finished rolling up at the island.

"Yeah but still" i said sitting in the chair beside her.

I propped my arm up on the counter and just turned to look at her. It's so crazy how much has gone on and changed in a year. I can't sit here and lie and say I don't have mixed feelings about us, though. The timing on everything just seems too coincidental. I don't want her to want me out of pity and I don't want her to see me as damaged goods.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked me grabbing my hand and pulling me out my thoughts.

"Honestly?" I asked.

She nodded her head and let out a simple, "mhm" as she lit the blunt. She got up and held my hand as she pulled me over to the couch to sit.

She sat down and I turned to put my legs in her lap and began telling her what was on my mind.

"I just.. I'm sorry if this comes off weird I don't really know how to ask it another way but, why me all of a sudden? You told me before you weren't interested and it just seems like this all came out of nowhere." i said as she took a pull from the blunt. "Don't get me wrong, I love that you're interested in me but I just want it to be genuine. I feel like we just fell face first into each other and I'm just scared. I don't want us to end up a disaster."

"If i'm being honest, it's always been you." she said rubbing my ankle and passing me the blunt. "I've always known how I felt about you, I just didn't want to mishandle you. That situation if anything just opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to stop bullshitting. This past year of us building our friendship back up has done nothing but remind me of why I feel the way I do about you. I get why you're on edge but I promise you never have to wonder of how I feel is genuine when it comes to you, it always will be."

"Thank you, Nauti" i said leaning forward and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Um.. I don't want to start the trip off heavy but I want to talk to you about something so it's not just sitting on my mind, if that's okay?" i said nervously and passed her the blunt.

"Aris, you don't ever have to ask to vent to me or talk to me. My ears are always open for you." she said taking a pull.

"So... I got a call from a detective and they have Sin in custody. Her and her lawyer want to meet with me but I've been pushing it off. I wasn't ready to face it then but I am now, I just don't know if I should. I've been doing so good and I don't want me meeting with them to set me back in any way." i said.

I noticed her face drop and started to regret bringing it up.

"You need to do what's best for you. Fuck them, they on your time. If you feel like a meeting would set you back then it may not be the best decision right now. I don't mean to overstep but think you should consider therapy. I know a lot of psychiatrist don't like being patients but you've been through so much, Aris. It may be time to let someone take some of that weight off your shoulders. You don't have to do it alone, you don't have to be so strong all the time." she said making me emotional.

I was already looking for a therapist so I took no offense to her suggesting it.

"I know where we stand but I want you to understand that I got you outside of all that. No matter the circumstances, i'm here." she said pulling me on her lap.

I put my arms around her neck and pecked her lips. "Thank you baby" i said and she kissed me three more times.

"You hungry?" she asked me rubbing on my butt with one hand as she smoked with the other.