BM 26: Crystal clear

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Cont'd~~~~~~~~The Langstan residence

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Cont'd
~~~~~~~~
The Langstan residence

After having to convince myself that what happened between Javier and I was all a dream, I finally found the strength to get up and get ready for school

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After having to convince myself that what happened between Javier and I was all a dream, I finally found the strength to get up and get ready for school.

If I'm being honest the last couple of days have been the absolute worst. I felt like my life was falling apart, bit by bit. It was just a matter of weeks ago, I had everything to make me happy.

Javier and I were on good terms, Char'Donae and I were still bestfriends and I didn't know who killed liyah. Maybe the saying is really true; that what you don't know won't hurt you.

Before I knew who did it I was much happier.

Since the day I confronted her, I obviously haven't heard from her, but what was strange is that she wasn't at school either.

I know the things I said to her were harsh when I actually sat to process them.

I don't hate Char'Donae but within that moment all I could think was that her mother had Liyah brutally murdered because of her.

Call me whatever you want but watching Liyah die like that was not easy to deal with and it left permanent scars on my mind.

I wish I could look past it all but how can I be around Char'Donae without thinking about Aaliyah?

I miss her so much but I refuse to let her back into my life. Along with all that I haven't heard from Javier either. No texts, no calls, nothing since the day he said what he said in the parking lot.

He basically ghosted me and I haven't been taking that very easy. I always had surface feelings with guys, and the one time my feelings are genuine the guy doesn't care.

Or maybe he does but he just isn't showing it.

It's puzzling to me, how my image can be so easy for him to paint or draw, from just memory but yet he says he doesn't want me. I'm not an artist but I would think that painting me based on remembrance means he's thinking about me,

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